OPRAH STOLE MY MATERIAL

True Confession Time. I read O magazine. Sometimes. I bought a copy to take on our trip to Boston - airplane reading.
Anyway, this month's issue has an article in it about how married couples are more respectful and courteous to others than they are to their spouses.
I've been saying this for years. I've said to Paul several times "the problem with lots of marriages is the lack of common courtesy." What got me thinking about this? You ask.
Well, years ago at a gathering of my family, I was getting up to go get something - probably more dessert - and I asked Paul if he would like something while I was up. He requested a Coke. When I brought it to him, he said "Thank you honey." My cousin's husband said "Paul is THANKING Heidi for bringing him a Coke!!" Like it was the strangest thing he'd ever heard. This was and is just normal behavior for Paul and me but evidently it was not normal for those around us. So I started listening to couples. And sure enough, in some couples there is just no common courtesy. No pleases, or thank-you's. No excuse me's. No "what can I get for you?"

Now, Paul and I ARE NOT the marriage experts. There are many times where the clod in him rears its ugly head. And there are many times when the shrew in me rears its ugly head. I have a hard time keeping my opinion to myself sometimes about something he has done. I sometimes forget that silence is golden and I just have to let him know....And Paul has a hard time thinking before he speaks (it's ok, he knows this about himself.) Someday I'll let ya'll in on some of his best.....
But. At some point in our relationship we decided that we were not going to treat the cashier at Kroger or the waiter at Applebee's with more respect than we show each other. As a side note: we do try to treat service people VERY kindly because we both grew up with a parent who does not; and it was very embarrassing. Anyway, it's really hard NOT to be courteous to your spouse when he asks if he can get you anything while he's up or when she thanks you for the little things you do. Paul always thanks me when the house has been cleaned and I always thank him for mowing the yard. He is better at all this than I am, though. When I ask him to do anything for me, his standard response is "I'd be happy to." Now how can I top that?