MY HEART - PART I

This one:

This one initiated me into that wonderful, maddening, frightening, mysterious, joyous club we call motherhood.

All mothers know that when we first hold our child in our arms, we experience our heart living outside our bodies. What we don't know at that first glance, that first touch, is that we will blink once, twice, three times - and they will be grown, with one foot outside the nest, eager to jump and fly without us. Does anybody tell us that? I suppose we wouldn't believe them anyway, so wrapped up are we in sleepless nights, bottles, colic, fevers, first smiles, first teeth, first steps, first words. There are days we think we will not survive the baby stage.

And then we blink again and they are grown. Like this one:

This one who started out talking with a vengeance, using phrases bigger than he was as a toddler. Somewhere along the way, though, he morphed into a man of few words. He is the strong silent type I guess.

But when he speaks you can count on his words to be well thought out and full of passion. Usually. You can count on them to be self deprecating. You can count on his words to leave no doubt in your mind where he stands on a subject. Subjects like protecting the unborn and supporting our military. Subjects like loyalty and fairness.

But make no mistake; this young man who is so passionate and independent; this young man who is several inches taller than his dad, absolutely adores this man:

I have learned, with this tall lanky son of mine, that physical height has nothing to do with the people you look up to in your walk through life. He has made mistakes, this son of mine. He has hit a bump or two on the road to adulthood. Who of us hasn't?

But he has come out the other side a little bit stronger, a little bit wiser, a little bit more willing to laugh at himself. And carrying a little bit more character with him than many adults he knows; though his spirit might have been a little bit bruised in the process.

He will look out for the underdog. He will take the lost one, the weak one, the new one, under his wing.

But in his youthful eagerness to keep all things equal, he might also strive to take the arrogant one down a notch or two. But once that is done, he takes the newly humbled one under his wing and gives them a special kind of respect.

He doesn't talk to his little sister a lot. He doesn't talk to anybody a lot.

But, again, make no mistake. He would take on the world for her. He threatens to have his shotgun in hand when boys come to the house. There are rumors that he's had "little talks" with boys he doesn't deem worthy of our girl. He has little respect for young men who do not treat girls well; especially if these young men have little sisters of their own.

Eighteen and a half years ago, when I held this one in my arms for the first time; as I rubbed his round fuzz-covered head, I had no idea of the man he would become.

And now? Now I'm getting a glimpse. I know he has a desire to serve his country - a desire so strong that it could not be quashed by this fearful mother's pleadings. I know that he has learned from his mistakes. I know that he is eager to be out on his own and face the challenges that life has to offer.

I know that he is my heart.

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*Photos by Daily Life Photography - www.dailylifephoto.blogspot.com