WHAT WORKS FOR US - RESTAURANTS

So quite a while ago Beaner mentioned in a comment that she'd love to hear what works for us as parents. I haven't really addressed that because:

a) I thought she surely must be joking

b) I couldn't think of anything

So I asked my kids. "Hey kids, what would you say I've done well as a mom?" To which Kayla replied "you took me to the emergency room the day I broke my thumb; and didn't make me wait two weeks like when Blake broke his finger."

Um, yeah. It's always good to be reminded of your brightest moments as a parent.

And Blake replied "Tuh...I don't know."

See? I am just a shining example of parenthood.

But last night I saw evidence of something that's worked for us.

We had the best evening when we went to dinner. The food was good. The conversation was good; and there was lots of it. All four of us laughed a lot. I sat in the booth thinking I must surely be the luckiest woman on earth.

I am always proud to be out to dinner with our kids and watch them interact with the servers in the restaurant.

We taught our kids very early to order for themselves when we went out to eat. I think by age four, they were ordering on their own, with prompts from us.

We taught them to look the server in the eye, speak clearly and politely and say "May I please have chicken fingers," or "I'd like the pizza please." We taught them that when a server comes and brings their food,they are to look at them again and say "Thank you" very clearly. And they are to continue saying thank you each time the server brings them something. If the server asks if they need another drink they are to say "yes, please" or "no thank you" and look them in the eye when they speak to them. They are to hand their empty plate to the server if possible when he or she comes to get it and say "thank you" when the plate is removed.

This stuff can be taught to children fairly early. They do not have to be able to read to order at a restaurant. We simply prompted them by saying something like "tell her 'I'd like chicken fingers, please.'" I don't remember ever having a server seem impatient with us while our kids learned on their time. But I do remember receiving compliments on our kids when they were little, because they interacted with the wait staff so well.

Kids can, of course, also order at fast food counters on their own when they are very young.

These restaurant lessons are important because they teach independence, they encourage verbal skills, they keep the kids busy for a while if you are preparing them to order like a big boy or girl and, most importantly, they teach kids to be polite and respectful to everybody with whom they come in contact.

So last night, I was watching our kids with the waitress and I was so proud of how respectful they were to her and how they each looked her in the eye when they spoke to her. They each said "No thank you" and "Yes Please" They looked at her when they ordered and didn't keep their faces buried in the menu. (I am really big on eye contact. Eye contact makes somebody feel like they are worth your time. I do not trust people who won't make eye contact with me. That's why I keep hammering that point.) I hope our waitress last night finished her service to us feeling good about her job.

I certainly finished dinner feeling good about my job as a mother.

So, there you have it. My first installment of "What Works for Us."