SECRET

I have a confession to make.

Most days? While the kids are at school and my husband is at work? I sit in the old blue swivel rocker in Blake's room (which he charmed out of his grandmother when she bought new chairs - it's LOVELY) and I play violent war games on X-Box. Or X-Box 360, or whatever it is.

I sit there and ignore the phone. I ignore the laundry, the grocery shopping and my volunteer obligations.

I just sit there all day long yelling "DIE! DIE!" to all of my virtual alien enemies.

Or at least that's what the clerk at the game store thinks.

Because when I walked in there today, receipt in hand, to pick up a game for which Blake had prepaid, I was very nicely told "um, yeah, Blake, like, paid in full for this, but since you're not, like, on his list of approved people to pick it up, we can't, like give it to you," as the clerk stared at his computer screen like a weary airline worker.

"But I've picked them up before" I say.

"Yeah, well, if he'd only put down, like, five dollars, we'd let you have it. Because then if you weren't supposed to have it we'd only be out five dollars and not the whole price of a game. Plus he's eighteen now and he's paid for it in full, so you can't pick it up"

And then I felt my brain bend ask I cocked my head to one side and started laughing. Baroo?

"Oh, I understand" I said. But I totally didn't. "What if I show you my license to prove we are related?"

"Sorry, I can't let you have it, in case, like, you know, it doesn't get to him. Some people try to pick them up and keep them for themselves. Tell him to put your name on the approved list and we won't have a problem again."

"I will and thank you so much," I said as I looked for hidden cameras. Because surely I was being Punk'd.

Be honest. Do I LOOK like a lover of war-themed video games? Do I look like someone who would STEAL a war-themed video game from an unsuspecting teenager?

This really poses a problem because Blake is absolutely not going to believe my story.

See, I have this terrible habit of playing jokes on him when I pick up his games. I hide them and leave treasure hunt clues, which believe, me teenage boys REEEEEAAAAALY LOVE!

So this morning when he left and handed me the receipt, as though he was handing me the cure for cancer, he said "mom can you pick this up and can you just bring it home and leave it on the counter? Seriously, mom, just leave it on the counter and don't do anything funny."

To which I responded "well, of course I can pick it up....but as for the funny business, I can't make any guarantees."

He is SO going to miss me when he's a Marine.