I GUESS IT'S THAT OLD "CIRCLE OF LIFE" THING.

I'm home. Paul picked me up on Wednesday. Kayla took the day off school to make the drive with him.

I have a really cool dad, I guess. He drives (when he's healthy) a 2005 red Mustang GT (with black leather interior). We drive a 2006 Toyota Sienna mini van that seats 8 (and although I only gave birth to 2 kids the seats are usually full - another math puzzle). Dad and Marilyn quickly realized how easy our van was for them to get in and out of, he with his sore back and she with her crutches. So Paul offered to leave the van with us and he'd rent a car to drive home. "No," Dad said. "Drive the mustang." Yay, Paul.
So Paul got to spend the week with the red baby. And the kids got to ride to school and all their activities in style. But alas, the joy ended when we came home, and Dad could not be persuaded to let us leave him the mini van "for his own good, you know" and we would drive the mustang "just to help them out." They'll be sorry. They'll miss that van. I know they will.

Anyway, Dad and Marilyn were very easy patients. They have a very set routine but they were very easy going and flexible about it. They are funny and positive. They are fiercely protective of each other. For example, Dad said he had questions for the doctor but did not want Marilyn to hear them because they would make her sad. And anytime Dad said he was craving something (since he has very little appetite), Marilyn got her purse out and handed me money so I could rush out and buy it before the craving passed. They are very much in love and so devoted to each other. They touched each other's hands during a conversation or would reach over and rub each other's shoulder. They've been married for 25 years, and I could see that they were truly best friends and truly enjoyed their marriage.

Now, I know this is all very normal stuff for those of you who grew up in a normal home. But this was the first time I had seen one of my parents in a loving, happy relationship. I loved witnessing it. Do I wish I had been exposed to this all of my life? Yes. Do I wish that it was my mother instead of my step mother with whom Dad shared this? Yes. Do I feel a great sense of relief that Dad has this special woman by his side during this difficult time? Yes. I am relieved they have each other, and I told them that we would be there to take care of Marilyn too, as the years passed. I do wish we could convince them to move back here, but they are set up with a great medical team now and they couldn't possibly move at this point anyway.

Now, about their routine.
They get up at 3:45. Yes, that is 3:45. IN THE MORNING. That would be 2:45 my time. Dad has always been an early riser and even though he isn't working now, the habit remains. So they get up at about the time I would have been feeding a newborn baby years ago. Then they have their coffe and watch Fox News for a couple of hours. Then they take their naps (only since they have both become sick/injured). Then they are ready for lunch at 11:00. Then more Fox News and napping. After lunch is when I had my daily "battle" with Marilyn to let me do her housework. She is one energetic woman. She has always worked out daily and she has the sleekest arms and legs I've seen on a woman, regardless of age. I think that is why she is adjusting to crutches easily. It is absolutely driving her crazy to be helpless. Their kitchen chairs have wheels on them, so she would simply push herself with her good foot, and do what chores she could. I did take Dad to the office one day so he could pick up some work to do at home. Anyway, after afternoon rest time - at about 3:30, we headed to Damon's. Damon's has been part of their evening routine for years. At Damon's Marilyn would have 2 glasses of white wine (she only had one when I wasn't driving. So that second was a treat) and Dad would have 2 beers, and I would have one diet Pepsi and they'd visit with all their friends, who were also very nice and funny. And then I'd drive them home and fix them supper. Then by 7:30, they'd both be exhausted and ready for bed. They slept in the family room on the couch and love seat because it was simply easier for them. I got their bedroom and bathroom. So after settling them in, I had the evening to watch tv, or read. Yep, it was a fairly easy job. Except for seeing how OLD my dad looks. And how slowly he walks. And how sad and scared they both are, despite their efforts to remain upbeat.
In case any of you are wondering. NO, I did not get up at 3:45. I rarely slept at all, though, because I woke up at the slightest sound from them through the night, especially if I heard Marilyn's crutches moving down the hall. I was so worried one of them would fall or something. It was a fall that started this whole thing, after all. But once I heard them getting their coffee at 3:45 IN THE MORNING, I slept pretty good for a couple hours because I knew they had made it through the night and the routine would begin again. I told them it was like taking care of a couple of babies. Feed them, keep them happy for a couple hours, then put them down for a nap again. And boy was it hard to leave, but there are still things that need to be done at home. Our lives seem to carry on, crisis or not.
I miss them. I know I won't be able to go back for awhile because I can't leave work. Well, until his surgery. Isn't it ironic, that I've started working after 15 years, and a parent becomes seriously ill? I am praying for guidance in that area of my life. Paul may go over for a few days, though, as he can easily work away from the office. Now, isn't that a sweet man? Willing to go take care of his sick father-in-law for a few days.

Interestingly, my sister can't go because she has "so many issues to deal with" and she doesn't want to leave her children. EXCUSE ME??? We all have issues, and it wasn't pleasant for me to leave my children, and to ask for a week off from work, and miss Kayla's ball game and to go days without sleep....But so far I have kept my mouth shut and tried to keep the peace.

The next time I post, I am going to ask this question: Why are some people trying to convince me to hold a grudge?