SERIOUSLY, I DO NOT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW

There are a few things going on right now that I simply do not need to be dealing with:

1. I do not need these three pimples on my face - one on my cheek and two on my chin. As we were driving to my dad's funeral, I said to my husband "Seriously, I do NOT need to be dealing with pimples right now. I mean, like I don't have enough to be upset about." The one on my cheek was at least half as big as Texas. The two chin pimples, not so big, but still. I am 41 years old, and WAAAAAY past puberty. Why am I still getting pimples? (OK that is a rhetorical question, so don't mention the menopause thing) AND I am in a state of bereavement. Who needs pimples when they are grieving? As soon as things slow down, I'm filing a complaint.

2. I do not need the ants that have invaded our kitchen despite spraying THREE TIMES. Not only do I start feeling itchy all over when I see one, but I am in a state of bereavement.

3. I do not need to be missing two library books. OK, I actually found those, but for two days I fretted over them, because I COULD NOT find them. I hate having overdue books, even though I almost always do. But, just between you and me, the library ladies scare me a little bit, and I don't like to have to go up and hang my head in shame like a second grader while they tell me I owe $1.60. Plus there is that bereavement thing again.

4. I do not need the stomachache that is resulting from my new medication. I've taken half this morning and will take the other half after lunch, in hopes of keeping that stomachache at bay this time. It is a side effect that is supposed to go away, but I don't need it; because I am in a state of....well, you know.

5. I do not, evidently, need to walk down the applesauce aisle at Wal-Mart, because seeing the little cups of applesauce made me puddle up and think of my dad. See, while we were there that last week, Paul and my uncle were going to the grocery store so I asked dad if he would eat some yogurt and he said yeah, raspberry and blueberry. Then we decided yogurt wasn't a good idea, because it would increase the mucus in his chest and make him cough. So I asked if he would eat some applesauce and he asked if they make applesauce with cinnamon. And it took him about 15 seconds to ask the question because he had to stop and struggle for his breath between words. So I said yeah, they make cinnamon applesauce and told Paul to get him some cinnamon applesauce. So he did, and Dad ate a cup. Now, evidently applesauce is going to be a difficult thing for me to deal with for a while. So, in an effort to control my tears, I did a quick u-turn and headed straight for the Little Debbie aisle. You know, bereavement and all.

6. I do not need to keep using the word bereavement, but I think I'm going to see how many times I can use it at home before Paul puts his hands on my shoulders and quietly says "Honey...enough." I also wonder how long I can milk this grief thing "I just was not up to cooking today, can we order takeout?" "I could not find the energy to clean that toilet, would you mind taking care of that?" "I thought these shoes would cheer me up, so I bought them. Do you mind, Sweetie?" I'm thinking I can go quite a while on the takeout stuff, but the toilet thing will not fly. The shoes? Maaaaaaybe one pair if they're on sale.