*Edited to add: I have realized that I completely read my son's diorama instructions wrong. The Biomes are: polar, tundra, coniferous, deciduous forest, grassland, desert, tropical rain forest, temperate rain forest, marine and freshwater -NOT fish, birds, reptiles, amphibians and mammals as I had stated. I do NOT in any way want to be responsible for my ones of readers learning their Biomes incorrectly, so I thought I must come on here and clear the air.
Oh, and after I went through all that hassle to buy his animals, Blake decided since it is an OPTIONAL assignment, he wouldn't do it, because it seems impossible to meet the requirements. I have no idea where the students are finding the animals for this project because each project must include TWO animals from each group. I agree with him on why it must seem impossible to do it correctly....but COME ON!!! How much heartache can a mother take!
The stress level at the W household is very high right now. Seriously, between 1 and 10 I'd give it a good solid 13 on the stress-o-meter.
Paul has a sore throat and is experiencing some job dissatisfaction right now. Blake is uptight about final exams and end of the year projects. Kayla has final tests and projects, the end of track, the beginning of softball, camps to plan for and occasional junior high girl drama. And me? Well, I have all of the above since I am the wife (slash) mother and it is my job to nurture and take on everybody else's worries, even if they don't want me to.
Plus I am in a state of bereavement, which really has muddled my mind to the point where I find myself distracted by shiny objects and forgetting my children's names.
So when my husband reminded me that he'd be a little late today because he was playing golf this afternoon, I asked him "which restaurants will you be passing on your way home? Cause it would be a good idea for you to bring home dinner tonight. Seriously, you really should not say no to this request." And somehow he knew not to hesitate for one second before saying "I'd be happy to."
I expected today to be a busy but manageable day. I had to drop Boomer off at the vet, run to Wal-Mart for a couple of groceries, run to the mall for softball socks, make two batches of cookies for Kayla's class project tomorrow (which will be the subject of my next post) and find plastic animals for a diorama.
"A diorama?" you say. "Does that mean you have a 3rd grader?" you might ask.
The answer to that would be a big fat NO.
My tenth grader has to make a Biome diorama for biology. And since he wants to make it to match the poster he made of the Temperate Deciduous Forest Food Web, he asked that I find little plastic mammals that were similar to the pictures he placed on his poster.
Do you think that was an easy task?
Again, the answer to that would be a big fat NO.
I found plastic firemen, plastic military men, plastic construction workers, plastic dinosaurs, and plastic aliens.
Where have all the four-legged mammals gone?
What I did find that would fall under the heading of "biology requirement" were a tube of plastic bugs which would, evidently not meet any of the requirements (now that I'm reading the instruction sheet); a tube of plastic fish which would meet the requirement for a biome of the Osteichtyes or Chrondrichtyes Biome; one plastic elephant and one plastic giraffe, which of course are mammals, but would make a pretty paltry Mammalia Biome. Oh and I found some individual sticky sea animals that feel like jell-o, at the Dollar Tree.
My final stop was Target where I found the tube of fish and the tube of bugs. Thank goodness there is a Starbucks in there; the vanilla latte I'm sipping now is saving my sanity.
When the coffee girl asked if I wanted anything added to my latte I said "yes, a shot of tequila please...no wait...make that two!"
Oh, I'm kidding!
I am now hoping my highly stressed teenage son will look at all these plastic animals I have purchased and decide to change his mind on what kind of Biome Diorama he wants to make. Because I simply cannot come up with a plastic cougar, bear, deer, opossum, skunk or rodent mouse. And if he utters one word of dissatisfaction with my efforts today, the Mammalia Biome fur is going to fly.
Now, I mean no disrespect to teachers, 'cause I love them.
But come on!
Asking a 16 year old boy to make a diorama is like asking him to shop for his mother's underwear. Seriously, this is not a good idea.
I am frustrated enough that I'd like to glue the teacher to a shoe box and call it a School Biome diorama.
We'd call it the Secondary Educationus Ridiculosi Biome.
1 comment:
Oh Lord, maybe those shots of tequila would have been a good idea.
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