BROTHERLY LOVE

Last week, we got home to hear a message on our answering machine in which the voice simply said "CLINT!!!" And then the sound of a phone being hung up.

That is how my brother lets me know he's trying to reach me. While I desperately wanted to call HIS answering machine and say "WHAAAAAT?" and hang up, I didn't because it was late and I was tired. And, why make my brother think I'm too eager to speak to him?

Instead I sent him the following e-mail this morning. He should receive it at work any minute now. Which means I have about 2 hours before my house is surrounded by federal agents for some reason or another. At least that's the kind of thing he likes to threaten since he works for an agency under the Department of Homeland Security. I tell him that he overestimates his own importance and that I have plenty of dirt on him. Blah, blah, blah.

So after seeing the note I sent him, you all will instantly understand why I'm his absolute favorite person in the world.



Dear Clint,

I received a very succinct (apparently encoded) message on my answering machine the other day. I believe it was the evening we had been at the U of I watching the U.S. Gymnastics team perform. Jealous?

Anyway, since the message just said “CLINT!!!!" I immediately picked up the phone and called my good friend Clint Eastwood. While he was happy to hear from me, he assured me he had not called. He did however suggest we do lunch soon. I said “Great, I’ll have my people call your people.” And he said “Go ahead. Make my day.”
I must remember to pencil that in.

Since it was not THAT Clint who had called, I assumed it was you. After listening to your encoded message many times I decided it could mean a few different things:

You were trapped under something heavy and needed my help. And, well, since that was five days ago, I guess you’re out of luck.

You won the lottery and wanted to send me half.

You suddenly remembered you owed me $400.00 and wanted to tell me the check is in the mail.

You wanted to know my favorite flower so you could send me a “BEST SISTER IN THE WORLD” bouquet.

You wanted to apologize for that time you buried my Barbie doll in the backyard next to the cat’s grave.

You wanted me to shovel your driveway since you’ve been hit with a blizzard. Again, you’re out of luck, because you are the one with the fancy new snow blower, while we just have three shovels.

You are coming home for Thanksgiving and want to stay in our guestroom. Please please please let it be number 7. Note: Due to the failing economy we’ve had to raise our rates; I'll send you a new brochure.

I didn’t pick up the phone and call you back because I was tired and my husband has taken away our long distance on the land line and I didn’t know where my cell phone was and I couldn’t see taxing myself to go find it simply to ask you “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

So, what do you want?


I love you man.

Heidi