DOUBLE DONUT DATE

I'm sitting in my kitchen drinking a cup of coffee and waiting for my son to come downstairs and eat donuts with me.

Because that's what really good mothers do. They eat donuts with their children.

Blake is missing school today so he can drive to the University of Illinois and support his wrestling team mates who are competing in the state tournament.

GO BOMBERS!!

So I took Kayla to school today. When I got up this morning she asked if we could stop at Casey's on the way to school and get a couple of donuts. Did I tell you? We have a new Casey's near the school - woot!

So I said of course we would stop for Donuts. Because I'm sacrificial like that. I make myself eat donuts. For the Children.

Then her brother came downstairs and mumbled something like "hey mom, how 'bout you bring some donuts from Casey's?" I told him I was already on it.

Are you starting to pick up on the fact that our family likes donuts?

So then. Kayla and I ran into Casey's to pick out our donuts and while I was at the donut case I felt a little tap on my shoulder and when I turned around there was one of Kayla's classmates smiling at me and saying "hey, Mrs. Woolard." Hey, Devin. I love love love it when my kids' friends make a point to speak to me when they see me in public.

You like me....you really like me.....

{{I would like to take this moment to give a little shout out to the teachers and administrators at my kids' school: When you see my daughter in the cafetorium eating donuts and diet pepsi before school, please know that she had a banana before she left home. She also has access to other fresh fruit, healthy cereals and yogurt. The fact that she chooses donuts and diet pepsi is something I'm going to blame on her father for now. M'kay?}}

Now back to my donut date with my daughter. Let me just ask you, is there anything a sixteen-year-old girl likes more than bling? Probably not. Now imagine her delight when she finds a donut with bling on it. Seriously. She found a donut with silver sprinkles. And it was oh so shiny and sweet looking. It was so shiny and captivating, she could barely place it on the counter so I could pay for it.

It was so shiny and captivating that when she told me she forgot to bring her Junior Class Schedule for next year (and it's due today) and I said "That's it! Give me your donuts." She said "NOT MY SHINY ONE!!"

I'm going to have a whole gross of shiny donuts made so that when she gets upset about something I can say "Kayla...Honey...look at your donut and breathe. Watch. The. Donut."

Anyway, after my sweet and shiny 30 minutes with my daughter this morning, I came home and yelled up the stairs "Blake!!! Donuts!!" and got no response. So then I sighed and did what I hate to do.

I texted him: DONUTS.

And he still hasn't come down to enjoy his donuts with me. Should I be offended? I'm being stood up for the second half of my Double Donut Date.

His reluctance to join me has worked to my favor in one regard. It's given me the chance to remove the Chocolate Iced With Peanuts from the box and set it aside for myself.

Because that's what mothers get to do. They get to steal the good donuts.

And let me tell you. Wrestler or not, I could totally find a way to pin that kid if he tries to take my Chocolate Iced With Peanuts.
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In other news.

With the state wrestling tournament going on today and tomorrow, Kayla has made an excellent point.

Wrestling does not have a huge following. I understand that. People have basketball and volleyball and all sorts of other commitments. Wrestling is not a sport a lot of people are familiar with and so they don't enjoy watching it. Totally understandable.

But, and here is Kayla's point, the students who didn't care to follow and support the wrestlers when they were working their way to the state tournament are suddenly very enthusiastic for our state bound wrestlers - because it's a day away from school to go watch the tournament at the University of Illinois.

And that has some of the loyal followers a little ticked off. So I'd like to thank the few students who supported our boys.

First, the beauties - Kayla, Hannah, Andrea, Becky, Mrs. Barnes, Miss J-net.

And the beasts (who Blake calls his Crew) - Drew, Jake, Taylor and Brian. There has never been a more vocal and enthusiastic fan than Drew. Oh how we love hearing Drew in the stands when our boys are on the mats...and on the podium getting their medals.

Thanks Beauties and Beasts. You are the best.

As for the rest of the students who are interested in the state tournament - I'm thinking of The Little Red Hen. They really wanted nothing to do with making a state bound wrestler, but they certainly want to enjoy the experience of the State Tournament - and missing a day of school to do so.

One good thing to come of this will be that people can see how hard our wrestlers work - what a difficult and intense sport it is. Hopefully they will see that it does involve strategy and planning, patience and quick thinking.

And maybe those extra fans will inspire our boys to reach the top in the tournament this weekend.

Good luck Chris (140), Andrew (189), Aaron (215) and Trent (285).

You Wrestlers Wrock!!!

PERFECTLY LOVED

Today my husband gave me a box of chocolates - COLD STONE CREAMERY chocolates (who knew?) - and a video (New In Town) in honor of Valentines Day. I love them both, just as I love the card he gave me.

I also got received a card from my children. A card that says "For letting us know we didn't need to be perfect in order to be perfectly loved, thanks Mom. You're Wonderful."

I am in awe of that sentiment.

I love this card for two reasons:

Number one, it is from my children.

Number two, it makes me feel like I've done something right.

I've made mistakes as a mother but I will not list them because there is not enough memory on this or any computer to record them all.

But one thing I have always hoped to do with my children is let them know that I love them NO MATTER WHAT.

I have never expected perfection from my kids; and that's a good thing because they are not perfect. And that works out just fine because they are being raised by two parents who are not perfect.

But as they get closer to leaving our home (99 days, in fact, for Blake) I hope, more than anything, that they remember one thing.

That, no matter what, I have loved them.

With all the mistakes I've made in this journey of motherhood, I choose to believe that I've done one thing well.

I've loved them.

I've loved them as fiercely, as strongly, as perfectly as I know how to love.

I've loved them through temper tantrums, discipline issues, poor grades, calls from teachers, and issues too personal to mention on this blog.

I've been angry with them. I've lost my patience with them. I've slapped my forehead and wondered how I would get us out of the current mess. But always the Good Lord has helped me remember that I love them - that even though they aren't perfect - I perfectly love them. And He has helped me to remember that I must tell them that. And so I do - daily.

Neither of my kids has been the star of an athletic team. Neither of my kids will be valedictorian of their class. They have both made mistakes - some bigger than others.

But if I might speak a little too highly of myself for a moment....I know that they know they are loved. They are perfectly loved.

They are perfectly loved by a far from perfect mother.

When life has kicked them in the teeth; when things don't seem to be going their way; when they think they just aren't measuring up in a world that is far too competitive for young people; I wan t them to know that they are not perfect but they are perfectly loved.

And my hope for them is that the knowledge of that love will be their soft place to fall when life has knocked them down.

EVERYBODY DESERVES A MOMENT LIKE THIS

Today at Blake's regional wrestling meet I watched the sweetest victory I think I'll ever have opportunity to witness.

And it had nothing to do with my son.

The interesting thing is that the boy who achieved this victory was going to be a subject of my post tonight anyway. But not because he had actually won a match.

Because he hadn't.

The only wins to his name until today had been wins due to forfeit.

Because this boy, Brandon, is our 103 guy. Except he isn't...103 pounds that is.

He weighs 85 pounds.

He is living with a liver disease and he is quite small. He looks frail and tired. His skin and eyes are yellow.

This is Brandon - the one with his back to the camera.
We have never seen Brandon run from a fight, even though he knows he's going to get on the mats and face an opponent who is nearly twenty pounds larger than he. He runs out at the beginning of each match like he knows he's going to set the world on fire with his strength.

And when he is pinned in 20, 30, 40 seconds - after giving it his all...well, he shakes his opponent's hand and gladly shakes the hands of the coaches before he jogs off the mats again.

I've never seen his parents at a meet. I have seen him at the concession stand without enough money to pay for his snacks. But always there is somebody from the team digging into their pockets saying "I'll get Brandon's." The team takes care of him.

Brandon fills my heart. He's a fighter. He's a little guy with a big desire to simply go out and do his best.

Today was a big meet. Only those wrestlers who placed third or above would advance. For the rest, it would be their last meet of the season. I suppose, like in all the other meets, the coaches and team sent Brandon out to the mat expecting another loss out of him. Not that he doesn't fight like mad to win, but he just isn't strong enough to conquer his opponents. He is, after all, an 85 pounder in a 103 world.

But today was different.

Today Brandon came up against an opponent his size.

And Brandon made it through the first period.

And when that buzzer sounded at the end of the first period, his team mates were on their feet. The state ranked wrestlers, the tattoo covered 189 guy, the guys who could carry Brandon with one arm...they were on their feet punching the air with their fists. They were yelling 'til they were hoarse, they were coaching him from the sidelines - 15 pumped up, testosterone filled voices encouraging him, telling him HE WAS GOING TO DO IT.

I doubt the actual coaches' voices could be heard, so loud were the fans and the team.

This wrestler had never made it past the first period.

This wrestler had turned it into a match.

The second period came and went. His opponent started yelling - grunting - so furiously was Brandon working him over.

The wrestling team could not be contained. Their little guy who took this weight class because "they had nobody else," was setting the stage for this phase of their meet. Even if he did not win, he had made it further than he ever had this season.

Our little 85 pounder had become a giant.

The buzzer rang a second time and Brandon was going to make it to the third period.

More fist pumping from his team mates. More yelling from nearly hoarse, sweaty, bulging muscled young men who cannot believe what this little guy is doing for their team.

More calm forward leaning posturing from the coaches who had never been in the position to direct Brandon through 3 periods before.

Our crowd is on their feet.

BRANDON!! BRANDON!! BRANDON!! YOU CAN DO THIS BRANDON!! YOU CAN HOLD ON!!

I can only imagine how long those last 2 minutes were for him. He knew victory was near, but so unaccustomed was he to it he was confused. He did not know what move to make next to pin his opponent.

S0 he just held him. And held him and held him. With every bit of strength his tired little body had left, he held him. For nearly twenty five seconds, until the final buzzer, he held him.

What an incredibly long 25 seconds.

BRANDON!! BRANDON!! HOLD HIM!! YOU'VE GOT HIM!! HOLD ON!!

And then the final buzzer sounded and our small crowd erupted. Our wrestlers did more jumping and fist pumping.

With a final score of five to four, Brandon had won.

He gets a win to his name now. This box score is not going to say 'win by forfeit.' It will say 'win by decision:5-4.'

He got to raise his hand in victory today - a victory he fought for, not a victory brought on by lack of an opponent.

He gets to advance to sectionals next week because he won third place in his bracket. He stood on the podium and received his medal.

And he got more high fives and hugs than any wrestler at the meet today.

And because his mother wasn't there, I felt it was my duty to let happy tears go ahead and run down my cheeks - just for a moment.

Everybody deserves a moment like this. A moment that will keep them awake at night, so excited are they every time they remember it.

"Remember the time I won that match....my first win? When nobody thought I could do it? When I thought I couldn't do it?"

Who knows what this moment will inspire Brandon to try next?


Today is my birthday. I spent it sitting on the bleachers watching a very long wrestling meet.
And I got to watch a sweet young boy inspire a gym full of wrestlers and their parents with a victory none of us imagined when we awoke this morning.

Happy Birthday to me. What a sweet sweet day.

A GIRL AND HER PHONE - A LOVE STORY

A few months ago, a certain teenage girl in our household began having trouble with her cell phone.

Again.

It probably had something to do with the fact that said cell phone had been dropped from the bleachers at a wrestling meet. And not onto a wrestling mat as one would hope but onto the hard wood floors from about 20 rows up.

So then.

Her father and I told her that until we decided when and if her phone would be replaced she would have to.....gasp....use the land line.

This caused much confusion and distress......

That squiggly cord thing....the mere massiveness of it....the fact that it could not be carried in her pocket.

Yes we are indeed cruel parents.

Of course we parents decided that the phone would be replaced but not by a new one. Then came the difficult decision as to which parent would enter the cell phone store and take care of this. We thought of doing rock, paper, scissors. We considered arm wrestling.

But then I merely spoke one sentence to Kayla's father and the decision was made:

I. AM. NOT. ENTERING. THAT. CELL. PHONE. STORE. AGAIN. TO. GET. HER. ANOTHER. PHONE.

And it was said through clenched teeth. Worked like a charm.

This caused our teenager even more distress because she knew she might end up with two tin cans on a string if her dad was in charge of her replacement. So to prepare for the humiliation, we practiced with two cups and a ribbon.


Things began to fall apart when she realized one cannot text on a plastic cup.

Sweet Mercy. This girl was beyond distraught. She had no phone. She had no way to text her friends. All she had at her disposal was...gasp...the land line.

My phone! My phone! My sweet constant companion - my phone!

It was really quite pathetic.

Once her father had been to the cell phone store and realized that the phone could be replaced with a slightly used model for a mere $12 shipping charge, I decided that she and I could share my cell phone until hers arrived in the mail.

And then the clouds parted. The birds began to sing. And joy was returned to the W house.

Ah - sweet contentment.

Then came the difficult days of waiting.

Oh the torture of waiting for a cell phone to arrive in the mail.

Every day after school (for three whole days) my tortured soul of a daughter would come in and desperately ask "Did my phone come?"

And, oh, the ache in my heart when I'd have to say "No dear. It did not come today. Just be strong a little longer. YOU CAN DO IT. And remember, I am here for you during these dark days."

And then (hallelujah chorus) the phone arrived in the mail and our daughter, for a brief mindless moment turned into Tom Cruise on the Oprah show:

Up on the couch she jumped.

I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!! My phone. My phone is back!!

And then she vowed to treat her constant companion cell phone with much better care and tenderness, as it deserved.

The End.

CHANGE OF HEART?

As I sit in our living room and watch the news coverage of the tragedy in Haiti, I think of the two women last summer who told me in no uncertain terms that my son's choice to become a Marine was a huge disappointment. As though their narrow minded opinion should be enough for me to alienate my son.

You see, in their words "The Marines are the ones who are trained to kill," and I should make my son choose another branch of service...a branch of the armed services that does not train their members to kill.

Oh, the irony.

Anyway, I am sitting here watching my television and I see more Marines landing in Haiti to deliver relief packages to the victims of the devastating earthquake. They are delivering lifesaving food, water, medication, blankets. They are setting up safe zones. They are using their language specialists (because not all Marines merely shoot to kill) to communicate with the locals so that these efforts can be run with the efficiency of any U.S. Military operation. And they are doing so in a country whose own government seems to have disappeared when its people need it the most.

Yes, some of these Marines are carrying their weapons; but they are also carrying hope to these people whose window of hope is rapidly closing. We are seeing pictures of military personnel carrying babies to safety. We are seeing news stories of Naval ships docking and setting up hospitals for the injured. We are seeing members of the U.S. Army organize food lines.

These young men and women who have chosen a career that earns them disparaging remarks are jumping on planes and helicopters to fly to a country in devastation. They are leaving their families to save somebody else's.

And it is not to fight. It is not to kill.

It is to save lives.

It is to deliver the most basic supplies that you and I have at our fingertips.

It is to do what they have been trained to do.

Because our military personnel, even our Marines, are not merely trained to kill. They are trained to survive. And they are trained to help others survive. They are trained to be ready at a moment's notice to go wherever their government sends them and perform the task set before them. And they will do it.

Because these are the young men and women who have allowed themselves to be broken down and rebuilt into the forces our world calls upon in a tragedy.

And when this humanitarian task is done, they will come home to relieved spouses and parents and children.

And people who choose to look at each of them as nothing more than a person who has been trained to kill.

In a year or so, my son may be one of those Marines landing in a devastated country to deliver humanitarian aid.

And in a year or so, my son may be one of those Marines landing in a war zone. Yes he will have been trained to kill. I certainly hope and pray he will not have to use those skills. But I'll say it here and now; if it ever comes to a choice between my son and the enemy at the other end of his weapon, I choose my son. And if it ever comes to a choice between his brother in uniform or the enemy he has been trained to fight, my son will choose his brother; just as his fellow Marine will choose him.

That is what war is, and as long as man populates the earth, we will see the ugliness of war. And as long as there is war, we must have men and women trained to fight them.

But as we are seeing on the news this week, these men and women are not just fighters. They are not merely takers of life. They are also givers of life.

I am hoping that those who are disparaging of military service will see these images of our humanitarian forces and soften their hearts - just as the victims - young and old - of the Haitian earthquake are sure to soften these tough Marines, Sailors and Soldiers.

MY HEART - PART II

This one:
This one truly taught me the meaning of the word "breathtaking;" so thrilled was I to have a second chance at motherhood, I'd stand over her crib and stare at her, soak her in, realizing moments later that I had forgotten to breathe once again.

This one's passion, simply put, is life.

Her first words were "...and me!" and she said them often as she followed her big brother through the house trying to mimic his every move. Those words were soon followed by "I do it myself." And she meant it. She will take on any project, any assignment, and laugh her way through it while giving it her all.

And that laugh. My stars, that laugh! By the time she was three, her laugh was bigger than she was. And now it makes me weak in the knees. It's deep and true. Thankfully we get to hear that laugh many times a day, every day.

I'm in love with her joy for life. I'm in love with the privilege of sitting back and watching her enjoy this party that is life for her. I'm in love with the fact that she allows me to have a front row seat on her journey. I'm in love with her.

This one has men in her life that will turn the world upside down for her. She may not always like it. She might not like it, at the moment, when her brother goes to school dances and watches her the whole time. She might not like it, at the moment, that he teases her about the boys in her life. But deep down, I know she realizes how lucky she is to have her own security staff of one looking out for her. And I know she is proud of him. I know that she is proud of the man he is. I know that she is proud to call him her brother.

This one had her daddy wrapped around her little finger from the moment the doctor said "It's a girl." He wants to tell her "no." He needs to tell her "no." But he struggles with it. He really does.

Because when she wraps those arms around his shoulders, she also wraps her eyes and dimples around his heart. And then....

Well then he is rendered helpless. And the princess is granted the kingdom. Again. But seriously. Look at that smile. Look at those dimples...that hair blowing in the wind. I suppose many dads would be turned into a helpless pile of goo when faced with that.

This one thrives on being with others. Her mood might take a slight dip if her heart isn't kept full with the presence of those she loves. Just as my mood might take a slight dip if my heart isn't kept full with her presence. Sure, we need time apart. But my day is just a little darker when I haven't seen her smile and felt her energy.

Sometimes I think I want a day alone. Sometimes I think I don't mind having the house to myself. But then she walks in at the end of the day and I realize that I love a rainy day until the sun comes out again.

And I realize I have missed the sunshine all along.

This one. I don't know what her path in life is. But I know it will be a path bordered with laughter and light. I know that she will make life the joyous party it is meant to be.

I know that she is my heart.

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Early photos by Lynn Austin - L.A. Photography

Current photos by Jenna Stahl - Daily Life Photography

SIMPLE

From our house to yours:

MY HEART - PART I

This one:

This one initiated me into that wonderful, maddening, frightening, mysterious, joyous club we call motherhood.

All mothers know that when we first hold our child in our arms, we experience our heart living outside our bodies. What we don't know at that first glance, that first touch, is that we will blink once, twice, three times - and they will be grown, with one foot outside the nest, eager to jump and fly without us. Does anybody tell us that? I suppose we wouldn't believe them anyway, so wrapped up are we in sleepless nights, bottles, colic, fevers, first smiles, first teeth, first steps, first words. There are days we think we will not survive the baby stage.

And then we blink again and they are grown. Like this one:

This one who started out talking with a vengeance, using phrases bigger than he was as a toddler. Somewhere along the way, though, he morphed into a man of few words. He is the strong silent type I guess.

But when he speaks you can count on his words to be well thought out and full of passion. Usually. You can count on them to be self deprecating. You can count on his words to leave no doubt in your mind where he stands on a subject. Subjects like protecting the unborn and supporting our military. Subjects like loyalty and fairness.

But make no mistake; this young man who is so passionate and independent; this young man who is several inches taller than his dad, absolutely adores this man:

I have learned, with this tall lanky son of mine, that physical height has nothing to do with the people you look up to in your walk through life. He has made mistakes, this son of mine. He has hit a bump or two on the road to adulthood. Who of us hasn't?

But he has come out the other side a little bit stronger, a little bit wiser, a little bit more willing to laugh at himself. And carrying a little bit more character with him than many adults he knows; though his spirit might have been a little bit bruised in the process.

He will look out for the underdog. He will take the lost one, the weak one, the new one, under his wing.

But in his youthful eagerness to keep all things equal, he might also strive to take the arrogant one down a notch or two. But once that is done, he takes the newly humbled one under his wing and gives them a special kind of respect.

He doesn't talk to his little sister a lot. He doesn't talk to anybody a lot.

But, again, make no mistake. He would take on the world for her. He threatens to have his shotgun in hand when boys come to the house. There are rumors that he's had "little talks" with boys he doesn't deem worthy of our girl. He has little respect for young men who do not treat girls well; especially if these young men have little sisters of their own.

Eighteen and a half years ago, when I held this one in my arms for the first time; as I rubbed his round fuzz-covered head, I had no idea of the man he would become.

And now? Now I'm getting a glimpse. I know he has a desire to serve his country - a desire so strong that it could not be quashed by this fearful mother's pleadings. I know that he has learned from his mistakes. I know that he is eager to be out on his own and face the challenges that life has to offer.

I know that he is my heart.

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*Photos by Daily Life Photography - www.dailylifephoto.blogspot.com

VOLUNTEERS

Maddy spent the weekend with us. You know. Cousin Maddy? My cousin's daughter? The one who makes Kayla absolutely miserable when she's around. Seriously, look at these unhappy girls, just before they left for the mall:

See Kayla's scarf? Well, it isn't. Kayla's that is. It's Maddy's. She had bought it at the mall the day before. Yes, they go to the mall every day when they're together. Anyway, I liked it so much I asked the girls to pick one up for me on chapter 2 of their mall trip.

They didn't have the same one, so they picked a different one out for me:

Poor Maddy. An old woman wants to dress like her. By the way, Maddy's dad is very tall. So is Maddy.

Before we took Maddy home last night, amongst much wailing and begging and pleading that we not separate them for another week, the girls were giving me some advice on how to rearrange the basement so that they would be more comfortable down there.

Not that they aren't grateful for the space and all (so they said) but they had some good ideas on how we could better utilize our space and give them room to actually let five girls lie on the floor while watching television.

Silly me. I thought providing a couch and two recliners was nice enough, but NOOOO-uh....they want plenty of floor space.

They suggested that I simply move the two large bookshelves and the three small bookshelves (all of which are full of books), take all the pictures off of one wall to make room for the television stand, and rearrange the furniture; and that would make the basement much more conducive to a happy slumber party.

I took that to mean they were willing and eager to do all that moving and shifting.

So Friday, when Maddy returns (if the girls can make it that long between visits), I'm assuming they will both have their muscles primed and be ready to lift, scoot, and pivot - all while I supervise with a cup of coffee in my hand.

And surely, they are willing to do that because they've asked if they can have a New Year's Eve party here. With boys.

Pray for us.

BUSTED

The only television we have on the main floor of our house is a little 13-inch one in our kitchen. We do not have one in our family room up here because when we finished our basement, I decided we'd put the main TV down there for the kids and make the main floor television-free.

Each of the kids has a television in their rooms, which I know makes us lousy indulgent parents.

Commence with food throwing now.

So then. Last night, I was really looking forward to watching the series finale of MONK because I've always loved that show. LOVE. IT. I was unable to watch most of this season because of football concession duties.

*sigh* The things we sacrifice for our children.

The main TV in the basement was occupied by our daughter and some friends, so I decided I was going to sneak into Blake's room and watch MONK on his television.

So after wrestling practice I quizzed him a little more intensely about his plans for the evening:

Hang out with Drew, eat somewhere, go to see Blind Side at ten.

"So, you won't be home 'til around midnight, correct?"

"Yeah, prolly."

So at eight o'clock, Paul and I went into his room and totally hi-jacked his television. I even brought an extra pillow in an propped myself on his bed.

That kid has a pretty good situation going on in there.

About twenty minutes into the show, we heard car doors slam, then a key in the front door.....

Then two teenage boys walking into our house.

Paul and I looked at each other.

"What are they doing here?"

"He promised me he'd be gone until midnight?"

"Why can't we teach our kids to stay out all night?"

"He's totally ruining my MONK farewell....!"

So I met Blake at the bottom of the steps and told him that Dad and I were watching MONK in his room because we had no place else to watch it.

"No, no, no, no....MOOOOM-uh! We have these games we rented and we need to play them before the movie at ten. Seriously, I'm gonna have to ask you to get out of my room. This is just wrong."

"But, Blake, I made you brownies. I set aside a torpedo sandwich for you guys. Look! FOOD! It's only forty more minutes...You said you'd be gone. I thought I could count on you to be gone all evening."

"Please, mom. We need to be in there"

Well, seeing the urgency of his timeline and his obligations, I relented and told Paul we had to clear out.

So we moped down to the kitchen and tried to cuddle on a bar stool in front of the television. (We didn't go to Kayla's room because her TV is much smaller, and we knew we'd likely be interrupted in there too. These kids just keep finding us.)

In an attempt to make things more romantic, I did offer to turn on a stove burner so we'd at least have a fire going while we watched TV on our bar stool.

The good news is the ending of MONK was wonderful.

The bad news? We are buying a television for the upstairs family room after Christmas.

OUCH....or HOW MANY TIMES CAN I TYPE THE WORD "SPIT"

Eighteen and a half years ago, after delivering Blake via c-section, and after lying flat on my back for 12 hours, a nurse helped me brush my teeth. I was finally able to sit upright and she held a little basin under my chin while I brushed.

Interestingly, when I went to spit my toothpaste into the basin, it merely dribbled weakly down my chin instead of hitting the basin. Not that it mattered. I had said goodbye to my dignity upon entering the hospital the day before.

Since my abdominal muscles had been traumatized and I was still somewhat numb from the spinal block, I had no spitting power. There was no oomph to my spitting.

Never having been much of a spitter (much to my brothers' chagrin) I had no idea how important abdominal muscles were to spitting.

It was one of the first lessons motherhood taught me.

Now I find myself in the same boat, being unable to spit well.

Because I have a huge canker sore on the side of my tongue, a smaller one on the inside of my lower lip, and one forming on the inside of my upper lip.

The sore on my tongue has nearly left me incapacitated. It's like having strep throat on my tongue.

It hurts to talk. It hurts to chew. It hurts to swallow food, medicine, and my own spit. When I try to spit my toothpaste into the bathroom sink, it merely dribbles into the basin in a pitiful stream of Crest Whitening. There's not enough force behind it to even hit the drain.

I warned my husband last night,that it was beginning to hurt when I talked. Seeing the dread on his face that I would remain silent for the next five to seven days (surely it was dread) I assured him that I would soldier on and talk through the pain.

Anything for my beloved.

Today, though, I changed my mind. I do not want to talk. I have taken to printing e-mails regarding our family Christmas parties and marking them with "FYI" and placing them in front of him. Normally, I would follow him down to his man cave and fill him in on all the details, but today he gets a memo. Just like at the office.

Funny, though, my inability to talk seems to have hit at the same time as a profound lack of hearing on my husband's part. The few things I have said to him this evening, he responds to with "what?" I do not know if this is because, in my effort to talk somewhat painlessly, I may sound a little bit like Quasimodo, or if he is torturing me just for fun and finds it amusing to watch me grimace while I speak to him.

Surely he wouldn't be torturing me, would he? I mean it is the Christmas season.


I am rinsing my mouth with a peroxide mixture. I'm rinsing with tea (the tannin is supposed to speed the drying of the sores) and I'm eating ice cream and mashed potatoes. And I am praying for fast healing.

In the meantime, my family is just going to have to get along without my voice for a few days.

I'm totally counting it as their main Christmas present.

DAY 5 - BAYEUX - PART II

Oh Bayeux. Sweet Bayeux.

It truly was the favorite part of our trip for Paul and me. This is not to take away anything from our sweet friends whom we visited later in the week. It's just that WE WERE IN FRANCE. A tiny little French village that was quiet and full of history. And we were with our children who were also having a great time.

Photo taken by our sweet tour guide, Naomi.

And the locals actually liked us. And we were on our way to the beaches of Normandy. The beaches that once held the imprints of my grandfather's boots.

And it was in this town that I made the sweetest memories of our family trip.

Maybe it was the charming shops. Maybe it was the charming shop keepers who didn't mind that I spoke no French.

Maybe it was the narrow cobblestone streets.

Maybe it was the tapestry handbag I bought that is oh-so-chic and oh-so-French.

Ladies? Was this a mistake?

At parent-teacher conferences I plopped this on the table and let Blake's French teacher read it to me. Was that wrong?

Maybe it was the fabulous birthday dinner we had for Blake at La Butcherie, where we had potato patties - hamburger patties with a hashbrown patty on it, covered in melted cheese. But it was totally healthy because there was no bun. Or maybe it was the real live French Creme Brulee we had after our meal.

Maybe it was the two....I mean....three...OKAY....FOUR French pastries I had (but two were tiny samples) while strolling the streets.

Maybe it was laughing with the local vendors in the open air markets as we tried to complete a transaction -neither of us knowing the other's language. Kayla wanted to try some fruity candy and the sweet French lady would say "It is...um...how you say....a bay-REE? um....not red but, uh...bleu?"

And I'd say "BLUEBERRY!" And she'd laugh and say "Oui!!" We got really good at that game as we tried to decipher what flavor each piece was before handing over our Euros.

Euros. We were spending Euros!!

But I think the sweetness of my memories of Bayeux come from the sleeping arrangements we had for the night. Since we could not get two rooms next to each other, we decided to put the girls in one room and the boys in another. Because I decided I was not going to put my babies in a room without a grown up.

This was very logical I know. Like I was going to protect Kayla better than her brother could.

So then.

The boys got the bigger room, but we got the shower. I know Blake enjoyed his bubble bath that night. The kids came up with a shared custody agreement for Paul's lap top so they could each have some contact with the outside world that evening.

And oh what a sweet evening.

Kayla and I sat in our room with the window open. There was no telephone. There was no TV. There were no screens in the window because there were no bugs in Europe. Really. They do not allow bugs in Europe. And we sat on the window sill and watched the traffic and the people in the courtyard below us. And the weather was glorious; we could smell the flowers below us all the way up in our second story room. We read our books. We planned our morning and shared our shampoo and hair supplies. We planned our outfits for the next day.

And the next morning because the guys had gotten up early to go for a run, they ate breakfast without us. At first I was a little miffed at them for that, but then I realized things were so much better this way. My girl and I, in an historic French hotel dining room, World War II era French music playing softly, eating breakfast before we headed to the beaches. Just us girls.

And I was taken back to the days when she was four and five years old - the days when she'd still hold my hand in parking lots. And as we walked down the street or across a parking lot, she'd swing my arm and look up at me with a giant grin and say "Just us girls, Mommy!"

Oh the sweetness of that morning in France with my girl.

Our French breakfast. Kayla had a bowl of fruit and some warm French Bread with fresh Strawberry Jam and a glass of skim milk. I had a bowl of fruit, a glass of skim milk and a cup of coffee.

Oh, and a croissant as big as my head.

That was one big croissant. And oh so buttery and flaky. And oh so painfully delicious with fresh apricot jelly. Yes, I did indeed make it my mission to see if I could become ill on French pastries. Surprisingly I did not, as hard as I tried.

Don't judge me. I had to eat the giant croissant for energy.

After all, I was on my way to Omaha Beach.

FAVORITE

Autumn is my favorite season.

I love cool rainy days,

and red leaves.


I love early evenings and lamplight,

And mixed flowers in reds and golds.

BYE BYE MAMMOGRAM? - ANOTHER HELPFUL LETTER

November 19, 2009


Dear U.S. Preventive Services Task Force,

I have listened with great interest to the news these last couple of days, because apparently you all have made a brilliant recommendation regarding women's health.

Is it true that you are recommending we put off our first mammogram until the age of 50? And after that, you want us to have one only every two years? Is this true?

And is it true that you're suggesting we stop doing our own self breast exams every month? I tell you what; we'll stop doing our self breast exams, when you tell our male counterparts to stop "examining" a certain part of their anatomy in public. Are all those baseball players checking for lumps? Because surely that's against your rules.

Idiots

And your reasoning in cautioning against self breast exams? That you don't want a bunch of women being scared by lumps that turn out to be nothing; and, after all, false positives occur and then we've wasted our time for nothing. Oh the horrors of finding out you are actually healthy after being fearful you had cancer!!! Your way is much better. Let's all bury our heads in the sand until it's too late to do anything about it.

Morons.

Brilliant People, long gone are the days when you get to pat our hands (or any other part of our bodies) and tell us "you don't worry yourself about such things. Let me handle it." The thing is YOU are not worrying about it and your way of handling it is to let potential cancer fester in our bodies for ten years or more. Probably less, actually, because by the time we get that mammogram, all hope will be gone.

I don't mean to be harsh but YOU PEOPLE ARE NUTS!!

I have a few suggestions for you:

My first suggestion would be that you visit the homes of women who were diagnosed with breast cancer IN THEIR THIRTIES. Look into their eyes and the eyes of their loved ones and then tell them "Um, yeah, ma'am, we really wish you hadn't gone and found that cancer on your own. It was entirely too early for you to be messing with this. You've totally messed up our research." *sigh*

Second, please PLEASE, PLEASE stop in at my family doctor's office and tell him that you don't want me to have a mammogram for the next seven years. Please do it. I will pay money to see the verbal annihilation that awaits you.

Third, put out a similar recommendation that men stop having their PSA checked. Let's ban prostate screenings. What's good for the goose......

Fourth, recommend an immediate halt to all insurance coverage of Viagra.

Fifth, why not recommend that all women start smoking two packs a day and eat a small tub of Crisco shortening for lunch? While you're at it, let's ban exercise, just for fun.

Now I know we are all just a bunch of simple minded little women folk who can't worry our pretty little heads about cancer and other things that might scare us, but we are watching. We know that you are a government panel of doctors and scientists. We know that this could very well become a part of our new American health care system. So we are watching and listening.

And if we start having coverage denied for mammograms and other cancer screening simply because we have breasts but are not yet fifty; well, then we know who to thank, don't we?

Just when I thought I'd seen my fair share of STUPID.....


Yours in good breast health (so far)

HW

THRIFT

A couple of weeks ago, I had to eat some crow.

Because two days after I sat on the softball bleachers and told my fellow softball moms "Kayla will never have genuine Uggs..." well....I went out and bought her some.

I know. I know.

I'm a terrible indulgent mother.

I know none of you expect an explanation (or rather a justification) but I'm going to give it.

See, Kayla is a saver. She doesn't nickel and dime us for money. She babysits and pet sits. She shops carefully. When she is heading out with her friends on the weekends I'll ask if she needs money and she very rarely says yes. When she sees something at the mall she likes, she waits a couple of days before buying it. Last week, she put two pairs of jeans on hold at the mall and asked if I'd buy them. They were $15.00 a pair. That's pretty good. And while she always has her own money and could have bought the Uggs herself, I really do believe it's a good thing to occasionally reward our kids for managing their money well.

So when she called and said she found some Uggs in her size and in the color she liked, I told her to put them on hold and maybe, just maybe, I'd run back and buy them in the next day or two.

This all occurred during a very stressful time at the W house. And even though Kayla wasn't trying to take advantage of that stress, it was easy for me to go out and buy those Uggs, because I like to live by my college roommate's advice:

"When you're having a bad day, do something nice for someone else."

There were a few weeks there where LOTS of people were getting surprises from me.

So I bought the Uggs and came home and was, like, THE. BEST. MOM. EV. VER.

It took a couple of days for Paul to find out about the Uggs, though. Not because I keep purchases from him but because he was working 14 hour days and we basically saw each other enough to say good morning and good night. Plus he doesn't tend to notice his daughter's footwear.

So when something was said about Kayla wearing her Uggs to a football game, a little bell went off in Paul's head and he said "Wait....she has Uggs?" And I said "Oh, yeah I bought her some Uggs earlier in the week." And he did that thing with his eyes and didn't say anything else. So I gave him the justification that I just shared with you, my ones of readers. Well, I added another reason but that's private W family stuff.

So then, he recovered fairly quickly from the fact that his daughter was wearing Uggs - which by the way I'm sure got their name from the sound parents make when they are paying for them.

Fast forward to yesterday after church.

We were sitting at lunch with our friends and Kayla said "Daddy....can we go to Plato's Closet." And Daddy tried to say it wasn't near enough to the restaurant. Thank you, Bridget, for chiming in and saying "oh it's just around the corner." We women really do need to stick together when someone is trying to trample on our constitutional shopping rights.

Since Plato's Closet is a re-sale shop for teen clothes, I piped up and said "Um....Daddy? You know, most 15-year-old girls would be asking to go to Hollister or Von Maur. Couldn't we go by really quickly so she can get a few things?"

And after being assured that she had some babysitting money with her, he agreed.

And let me just say right here: that whole exchange was totally unnecessary and almost comical. Because as soon as Kayla said "Daddy..." he and I both knew she was going to get whatever it was her brown eyes and dimples were asking for. Because from the moment she was born, Kayla has merely had to hold out her little finger and Daddy would begin winding himself around it, occasionally stopping to ask "How tight, Honey Bunny?"

So Daddy dropped us off at the door of Plato's Closet because it was raining. Then the preacher jumped in our van and they headed off to the bank to deposit the church offering, while Kayla and I went on a hunt for some darling bargains.

One hour and about a hundred dollars later, we came out with a sack bulging with a dozen items, including this skirt and leggings.

I'd say a trip to the re-sale shop totally makes up for those boots. What do you think?

The top half of her ensemble came from her own closet and my jewelry box. Skirt? $4.00. Leggings $3.00.

Boots? Well, the boots aren't the point of this post, now are they?

TACO MEAT

Dedicated to my Fellow Officer Moms (FOMs) - Kelly and Gretchen

Oh Taco meat, dear taco meat
how delicious you are,
when piled into one little shell
on an innocent taco bar.

But when cooked in our kitchens,
ten- TWENTY! - pounds at a time,
then the sight of you...the smell of you...
well, it's almost a crime.

You'll soon be transported
to a busy concession stand
where we'll be selling you to
parents, coaches, even the band.

Piled on chips, topped with some cheese.
They'll all long
for your goodness.
"ONE WALKING TACO PLEASE."

You're sure to be a money maker
not a better one could we find.
But putting this one together?
Well, it's costing us our minds.

The burgers, the pork chops,
the pizza and hot dogs,
This whole concession stand thing?
Well, it's turned our minds to fog.

But this is the last one
our dear friend Taco Meat.
If you could last until halftime,
that sure would be sweet.



Guess what I've been doing today?

LIBERATORS

And the American Rangers began to climb. They shot rope ladders over the face of these cliffs and began to pull themselves up. When one ranger fell, another would take his place. When one rope was cut a ranger would grab another and begin his climb again. They climbed, shot back, and held their footing. Soon, one by one, the rangers pulled themselves over the top, and in seizing the firm land at the top of these cliffs, they began to seize back the continent of Europe.

President Ronald Reagan, June 6, 1984 - Normandy.

Three and a half months after seeing this in Normandy, I still nearly weep at the words.

"When one ranger fell, another would take his place..." Oh, the heartbreak of watching your brother in arms fall and know that you must not falter from your mission. You cannot stop to see if he has survived. You cannot tell him goodbye. You must keep climbing. Because you are an American Ranger and a continent is depending on you.

"....soon, one by one, the rangers pulled themselves over the top..." One by one. The sacrifice of one ranger, and then another ranger, and then another ranger. One man at a time, one sacrifice at a time, these heroes began the job of liberating a continent. One by one they formed the mightiest military force in the world.

And in this place, Normandy, they have not been forgotten.

Happy Veterans Day to all of our service men and women.

And thank you.

SECRET

I have a confession to make.

Most days? While the kids are at school and my husband is at work? I sit in the old blue swivel rocker in Blake's room (which he charmed out of his grandmother when she bought new chairs - it's LOVELY) and I play violent war games on X-Box. Or X-Box 360, or whatever it is.

I sit there and ignore the phone. I ignore the laundry, the grocery shopping and my volunteer obligations.

I just sit there all day long yelling "DIE! DIE!" to all of my virtual alien enemies.

Or at least that's what the clerk at the game store thinks.

Because when I walked in there today, receipt in hand, to pick up a game for which Blake had prepaid, I was very nicely told "um, yeah, Blake, like, paid in full for this, but since you're not, like, on his list of approved people to pick it up, we can't, like give it to you," as the clerk stared at his computer screen like a weary airline worker.

"But I've picked them up before" I say.

"Yeah, well, if he'd only put down, like, five dollars, we'd let you have it. Because then if you weren't supposed to have it we'd only be out five dollars and not the whole price of a game. Plus he's eighteen now and he's paid for it in full, so you can't pick it up"

And then I felt my brain bend ask I cocked my head to one side and started laughing. Baroo?

"Oh, I understand" I said. But I totally didn't. "What if I show you my license to prove we are related?"

"Sorry, I can't let you have it, in case, like, you know, it doesn't get to him. Some people try to pick them up and keep them for themselves. Tell him to put your name on the approved list and we won't have a problem again."

"I will and thank you so much," I said as I looked for hidden cameras. Because surely I was being Punk'd.

Be honest. Do I LOOK like a lover of war-themed video games? Do I look like someone who would STEAL a war-themed video game from an unsuspecting teenager?

This really poses a problem because Blake is absolutely not going to believe my story.

See, I have this terrible habit of playing jokes on him when I pick up his games. I hide them and leave treasure hunt clues, which believe, me teenage boys REEEEEAAAAALY LOVE!

So this morning when he left and handed me the receipt, as though he was handing me the cure for cancer, he said "mom can you pick this up and can you just bring it home and leave it on the counter? Seriously, mom, just leave it on the counter and don't do anything funny."

To which I responded "well, of course I can pick it up....but as for the funny business, I can't make any guarantees."

He is SO going to miss me when he's a Marine.

DAY 5 - JULY 28 - BAYEUX, FRANCE

Veteran's Day is only two days away. And while our school district chose NOT to recognize this national holiday, I've decided it's the perfect time to get back to my vacation journal. Especially since we are ready for our tour of the Normandy beaches.


We arrived in France on Tuesday July 28th - Blake's 18th birthday.

We're really sorry son. We couldn't do much this year so we're just taking you to Europe for your birthday. Please forgive us.

Blake and Paul did a wonderful job getting us from Cherbourg to Bayeux. They did such a good job, in fact that upon entering Bayeux, we had no trouble at all finding our hotel:

And oh sweet mercy. I was in love with this hotel. The flowers. The decor. The steps. The flags of the allied forces.

The trained security dog:

Okay maybe "trained security guard"' is overstating things a bit. This is Siyah and she immediately took it upon herself to search our luggage. The only time that green ball left her mouth was when she replaced it with a red one.

Siyah on duty in the rear garden.

Always the watchful guard dog. We really took a liking to Siyah. And her little green ball.

Bayeux was spared during the German invasion. After the Germans left it unscathed, the American generals wanted to destroy the city, thinking the Germans might come back and use its resources. The British generals, knowing first hand what such an experience would do to its citizens, convinced the U.S. to leave the town standing. And so Bayeux became a point of rest for soldiers marching through after having survived their landing on the beaches of Normandy.

I spent two days wandering this beautiful village, wondering if my grandfather, after surviving his own landing on the beach, rested in this town.

Did he enter this church? Did he pray for his own safe return home?

Did he sit in a pew, where these chairs now are? Did he fervently pray that he would be returned to his young bride and baby boy? Did he sit in this stone building and hear the noise of distant bombing and gun fire? Did he fear that the sights he had seen on the beaches might never leave his memory? Did he mourn for his lost brothers in arms?



Did all of them? Did all of the soldiers who passed through this haven of rest enter this church? Did the townspeople sit within its walls and seek peace for their trembling bodies and hearts? Did they use their energy to welcome our soldiers, their liberators?

We will not forget our liberators, was a common sign in Bayeux.

I do know this. I know that somewhere in France two young women - sisters who were both school teachers - took my grandpa and some of his buddies home for dinner one night. They brought these American GI's home to their mother and father and shared their small rations with them. They gave them a touch of home. They fed their liberators.

Was that in Bayeux? And if so, was it near this water wheel? Was this water wheel turning when our soldiers passed through? Was it turning at the locals' efforts to keep their lives going in the midst of their own unending nightmare?

Bayeux was peaceful and refreshing after the buy streets of London. We spent the day strolling narrow cobblestone streets. We enjoyed the beautiful weather. We enjoyed the quiet and the reverence.

We saw the Tapestry of Bayeux. Photos were forbidden on this tour, but it was amazing. A tapestry eighty meters in length tells the story of William the Conqueror. It was stitched for the "common man" who couldn't read. It was stitched so the story could be told for generations and never forgotten.

After the tapestry we needed a little sweet treat, so my little sweet treats had some ice cream:

I passed on the ice cream because I had indulged in a French pastry earlier. A Bignet. Sorry, but a Bignet in France FAR outweighs an ice cream cone anywhere.

Eating ice cream and pastries in a tiny French village? Seriously, what is better than that?

I'll tell you what, waking up the next morning to walk on the sands of Omaha Beach. The best part of our vacation was truly only hours away.

BRAND NEW

Look what I found in the pumpkin patch:

One week ago today, on Halloween, this little peanut of a guy entered our family: my brother's sixth grandchild, Micah Derek.

Big brother Landon was not happy about being called away from his vacuuming to have his picture taken. He's two, you know, so the moods come and go.

But then he realized he could actually lift great grandma's "lello" - what he calls the Yellow Vacuum - off the ground. And then a favorite toy became even more fun.

Because, really, what is more fun than lifting a yellow vacuum cleaner off the floor and carrying it through the house while all the grown ups tell you how strong you are?

Could life get much better than this?