Sunday, January 07, 2007

THE WEDDING PART 1: THAT FLOWER GIRL'S GOT IT MADE

Yesterday was a big day. We went to my nephew's wedding. Yes, my nephew got married.
We walked into the church and there he sat in a chair in the foyer looking as happy and relaxed as a man can be.
It was a very sweet wedding. When the flower girls, one of whom is my great-niece walked in, I looked at Ryan, the groom. Seeing his little niece, Kara, who is 3 and thinks he's pretty darn cool, he just broke into a big grin. Then I saw the beautiful bride at the door and I looked back at Ryan just in time to see him brush a tear from his eye.
Throughout the ceremony, when the bride and groom had only eyes and hearts for each other, I found myself thinking "yep, they're going to make it just fine." My reasoning for this conclusion? They were both so relaxed and easy going about the whole day. When neither grandmother felt comfortable being ushered in to sit alone, per tradition, they both shrugged their shoulders and said "fine, whatever you're comfortable with..." When the flower girls, both 3 years old and cute as you can imagine, were quite wiggly and even a little talkative; no problem. Although, honestly I bet they didn't even notice, they were so interested in each other. You could just feel their ease and happiness. I have always said it would be nice if young couples put as much energy into making their future marriage perfect as they do making their wedding day perfect. I just had a feeling throughout the ceremony that the bride and groom knew what was important; not the picture perfect details with which they could have been consumed, but the end result. They would be married whether the flower girls wiggled or not. They would be married whether the candles stayed lit or not. They would be married whether each etiquette rule was kept or not.
And at the reception, as the wedding party sat at the head table before the meal, up runs Kara to sit with Uncle Ryan. Did he shoo her away and send her to "her spot?" Nope. He scooped her up and sat her on his lap. And a few minutes later Kara scooted from his lap to his bride's, where she was cuddled and loved and encouraged to settle in, right there in the midst of their bridal dinner. Now I think that was romantic.

Let me just say something about these flower girls. Anybody that has children in their wedding, surely must expect some comedy. These two little girls did a beautiful job spreading their petals up the aisle. Then they took their spot in line with the attendants. Where they did a very good job of sitting still. They also did a very good job of being quiet. Just not at the same time. When they jabbered to each other, they were sitting perfectly still. When they wiggled around, and even ran up the aisle a little way to try to gather their petals back into their baskets, they were perfectly quiet. I am certain that the adults at the rehearsal said "Kelsey and Kara, you must sit still and be VERY QUIET while you stand up here with the big people." I am almost certain that nobody clarified that they were expected to do both at the same time. Otherwise, I'm sure they would have. They are 3 after all. They were so cute, they even found themselves getting paid after the ceremony to gather the petals and put them back in their baskets. It was my husband who decided Kara needed something to do as we all waited for pictures and everything. So he said "Kara, you go pick up all those petals and then find Aunt Heidi and she'll give you a dollar." So she picked them all up and then found me in the crowd and held out her little hand. Paul had not informed me of his negotiations and just sat back and laughed while he watched me dig my money out for the deal he had struck on my behalf. I told him he would have fainted dead away if I had given her the 20 I first pulled out (which I eventually gave to Ryan for his dollar dance, even though I didn't dance with him) So Kara ended up collecting 4 dollars for gathering flower petals. Then I found Kelsey and figured I should pay her so I paid her just for being cute. I figure if my current job doesn't work out I'll apply for a flower girl position. Kara made 4 dollars for 30 minutes work. Not bad for someone who can't tie her shoes.

And this final note is for my Church of Christ friends. When the wedding party was dancing I noticed one of the (very handsome) ushers on the dance floor. He happens to be from a VERY (I mean VERY VERY) conservative Church of Christ family. So I was tempted to go up to him and shake my finger in his face and spout scripture about the evils of dancing. There are two reasons I did not do this:
1. I would have been out there myself cutting a rug, had we stayed long enough, and

2. He was dancing with Kara.

And that's one of the sweetest things I've seen in a while.

Next time: The Wedding Part 2: Nostalgia.

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