This post was written several days ago, when Paul was on an 8-day trip to London. We try to let as few people as possible know when he is going to be away; it just seems prudent.
Paul and I were still in college when we got married. We had been high school sweethearts and it was just part of "our plan" to be married when we were. We know many people raised some eyebrows over our young age, but even looking back as an adult who has seen a lot, I can truly say we knew what we were doing. We were both paying our own ways anyway. We had both been raised in such a way that we were pretty mature and level headed, even at 20 and 21.
Paul finished college in 3 1/2 years, so we were only married 5 months when he graduated and started working for a big accounting firm in Little Rock, while I finished my degree. He was an auditor. Being a CPA (although he does not work in accounting now) Paul often gets calls from people seeking tax advice (especially from family members). When somebody asks me if he'll do their taxes, I usually tell them "well, actually he was not a tax accountant, but he'd be glad to audit you."
So early in our marriage, Paul started traveling quite a bit. In the accounting field, it was just to various locations within the state (first Arkansas, and then Illinois) where he would audit corporations, universities, city offices. He was usually gone a week at a time. Depending on the length of the job, he'd leave Monday morning, and return Friday night and then repeat the process.
When he left the accounting field, he had a brief period where he worked in internal audit. He did not travel. It was a wonderful time.
Let me just brag a minute about Paul. When it comes to his professional life. Paul's just got it. Really, he is very bright and dedicated. I do not know if I'd call him ambitious because he has managed to do quite well in the business world without sacrificing his family. Because of this "IT" that Paul has, he progressed pretty quickly in this new company as well. Soon he was asked to join a group of about 6 men that would be starting a new company. The new company went around to basically third world companies building or investing in power plants.
So the travel began again. Only this time it was to places like Columbia, Peru, Brazil, Pakistan. And it was often on very short notice. Again it was a situation where he would leave on Monday morning and return on Friday night, and then do the same the next week. There was once a nine week period where he was gone 7 of those weeks.
And this time we had babies. It was a very difficult time in my life. I seemed to live in fear. I was treated for depression. I was basically raising two babies alone. And my husband wasn't across town or even a few hours away. He was on a different continent. He could not get home to me in an emergency. We could not meet for lunch. He could not swing home for supper and then head back to work.
But when he was home, nothing else seemed to exist but his family. I know now I was not always as supportive of him as I should have been, but I was completely overwhelmed and had basically no support system.
After a few years of this, Paul left that company, for various reasons, one of course being the strain it was on our family. He took a pay cut. A 15% pay cut. He worked for 18 months for a family owned business as their CFO. He spent much of that time trying to show them how they needed to cut costs. So they did. By eliminating his job. They gave him 3 months to find something new. It was very fun for both of us when he was able to go in after TWO WEEKS and tell them he had already found a new position. A position that gave back the 15% pay he had lost, plus some. I know to my very core, God had a hand in this. He had used the other brief job as a stepping stone, a way to allow us to catch our breath and re-evaluate our lives.
During his time at this company (where he works now), Paul has also traveled a great deal. But not as much as with the power company. The trips are usually shorter and there are fewer in the year. They are usually to London, Toronto, Brussels, and the different plants within the states. He has gone to Singapore once for this job. Our experience with the "power company travel" has made these trips seem quite easy. Everything is relative.
Paul still somehow manages to be a rising star at work but also our kids' hero (and mine too) He takes overnight flights and arrives just in time for a meeting in London, so he won't miss a concert. He will take a 4 am flight rather than the 6 pm the night before, so he can coach a softball game, or sit through Blake's football game. He will excuse himself from a business meeting in corporate headquarters in London, so he can talk on the phone with the kids about their day.
He fills my van with gas, checks the tires, has the oil changed before he leaves town. He runs to the grocery store for me to spare me having to get out in the 12 degree weather. He always asks if I have plenty of cash so we can order pizza or eat out, while he is gone. Anything to make my time as a single mother a little easier.
I always stick notes in his suitcase, one note for each day he will be gone, so he can know each day how much I love him and appreciate how he provides for our family.
Is it any wonder, that even after twenty years of this business travel, I still miss him? Oh my stars, I miss him. Not the weeping into my pillow, stuffing chocolates into my mouth kind of missing him. But the kind that just makes me want to stare out the window and and lose focus. The kind that makes it difficult to sleep at night, not because I'm scared but because something is just not right.
But I am thankful for this job. Of course, it has provided for us and made it possible to plan to send our kids to college and not expect them to pay their own way. It has given us a home, two vehicles, some extras. But I'm also thankful for it because I know Paul likes it, and I have learned that it is vital for a man to like his job, regardless of the job he is doing. The travel is just enough to keep it exciting for him, but not so much that it is overwhelming for our family. It seems to be the perfect balance. God is really good at the balancing act.
This is the first time in a long time that Paul has been gone for more than a week. I have dreaded it for the 3 months that I have known about it. I have realized, though, that I am blessed to have this "something is missing" feeling when he is gone. In the notes I send with him, I write things like,
"my circle does not close when you are gone." "The sun is not as warm when you are gone." "Even chocolate is not as good when you are gone." All of these feelings are blessings, I know. They mean that my life is complete when he is home.
And I simply cannot wait for him to be home again.
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