MAY I SUGGEST...?

Dear Mr. Sears and Mr. Roebuck,


I appreciate your store.

I grew up wearing your clothes. My mother, having had four children in four years, dressed my brothers in your ToughSkins and my sister and me in whatever little girl tops came in two packs. Ditto with our skirts and slacks. She tried to dress us all in coordinating clothes because having that many children so close together completely zapped her memory and her sanity; but that isn't your problem.

I dressed my own children in your clothes when they were little. You carried cute, reasonably priced children's merchandise, and I always liked that KidVantage (is that what is was called?) thing you had where I got a gift certificate after spending so much on kids clothing or shoes. It allowed 20% percent off the purchase of any kids' products. Clearance merchandise included.

I still occasionally drop in at your store and browse. I will buy my husband's tools there, look at your housewares, and even find a cute trendy top now and then. It's kind of nice to find some clothes at your store that I like because, well, no offense, but most women my age don't shop at your store. So when I find something surprisingly cute, I'm sure nobody else will have it.

Anyway, I've been wanting to let you gentlemen know for quite some time that a visit to your store is getting more and more annoying.

And, since I consider it my duty to help retail managers everywhere by pointing out their flaws as often as possible, I thought I should finally let you know about the problem. I am only doing this to help improve your business and make it more customer friendly. You DO want your business to become more customer friendly don't you?

First, may I suggest that your cashiers cease and desist their constant questions about whether I have a Sears credit card and if not would I like one; and if I already have one, would I like to upgrade to a Sears Gold Visa, or whatever it's called? May I suggest that when I answer in a way that is not acceptable to them that they be instructed to simply count their blessings that I'm shopping at Sears anyway and cheerfully accept my money? May I suggest that when I say "No, I don't want to upgrade," that the cashiers be instructed to NOT tell me what a great deal I'm passing up, and then purse their lips at me as though I am the greatest disappointment they've come across in their lifetime?

Just so you know, YES I have a Sears Credit Card, but NO I don't want to use it. EVER. Unless I'm in desperate need of an appliance and even then it would be iffy because, frankly, your appliance people are a little snooty if the customer does not want to buy the extended service warranty. Perhaps I will fill you in later on the appliance lady that threw a little hissy fit and slammed a dryer door shut when we said "No, thank you" on her offer of an extended service warranty.

Second, and this is the bigger issue for me, may I suggest that you stop sending that little bald man around to accost shoppers and ask if they are interested in siding, windows, gutters, and whatever else he is trying to push on us. I really don't care that I could get all of that from you. Frankly, if I was interested in any of that, I would do some research and find out that you carry all those things and I would consider your services along with all the other suppliers of such materials. You really should let the customer come to you on that; because it is quite annoying to be stopped by the little bald man and listen to his spiel; especially when I have told him several times that my house is only a few years old so NO I don't need any of those things. But, to be quite honest, when I was living in a 75 year old bungalow whose windows were painted shut, I still would have told him I lived in a brand new house and didn't need any of those things, because I am not above lying just to spite pushy sales people. And no I won't keep Sears in mind, when the need does arise, because, frankly, you've bugged me too much about it.

So there.

I know that many stores nag, I mean ask, customers about using their own store credit cards; and, frankly, it's annoying from all of them. They just may receive similar "helpful" letters from me too. But yours is the only store that actually sends somebody around trying to pedal wares and push services onto the customers while we're shopping.

So I'm begging you to stop. In the name of all consumers everywhere, please stop.

Also, please let me know if I can be of further assistance to you at any time in the future. That's what I'm here for.

Yours in NO need of any household improvement item whatsoever (at least from you)

HW