WORK ETHIC

I suppose it is safe to tell you that while Kayla is away at camp, we are redecorating her room for her.

It's a surprise. But don't worry. She picked out her comforter months ago and told me what color she wanted her walls.

So today I started painting the two walls that are going to be something other than white (pictures upon completion), after Paul had spent two nights priming all the walls and painting the two white ones.

Having spent twenty minutes painting this morning, I decided my time would be better used elsewhere. After all there were two teenage boys in the next bedroom that were doing nothing but playing a video game.

So I knocked on Blake's door.

*knock, knock, knock*

WHAAAAAT?!?

Hey. You guys wanna paint for me?

Uh, NO!

I'll pay you.

Oh, allllll right.

So the boys exit their cave and enter Kayla's room for their instructions.

It is important to note that Blake made it very clear that pictures would not be allowed, which absolutely broke my heart because I really wanted to commemorate Dumb and Dumber painting a teenage girl's bedroom.

*sigh*

After listening raptly to my instructions Blake starts telling me in no uncertain terms that he's a lousy painter and he hates the idea of doing this.

You do know this is going to look terrible, right? I'm terrible at painting so it's going to be a lousy job.

Well, son, that certainly isn't the way to start negotiations. You should be saying 'I won't let you down, Ma'am. You can count on me to give you the best service ever.' Right Cody?

Um...yeah.

And then, Blake uttered words that, in 22 years of marriage, his father has NEVER uttered to me: Well, what are YOU going to be doing all day?

Funny, I don't know how it happened; but suddenly Blake had a whole gallon of paint dripping from his head and face....

Cody attacked the job with as much enthusiasm as Cody shows for anything, but he certainly didn't complain. In fact, he actually told me about four times that he would do it for free. That was when Blake said "Dude!! Don't be stupid. Take the money." Which made me prouder than you can imagine.

No, I'm going to pay you. And you, Cody, will get a "NO WHINING BONUS" because you have such a good attitude. Blake on the other hand...well...obviously I've failed. Oh, and Cody? You're in charge of this operation.

I obviously failed to instill any work ethic into my son, as I lost count of how many times he complained about the painting and said "Man, I hate work!"

Dear Uncle Sam,
That new Marine recruit you got last weekend? Well, the drill instructors might need to know that he hates work. Perhaps he will do better in your Low Impact Boot Camp. Could you see to it that he is enrolled in that one?
M'kay, thanks.

One thing that Blake DID have going for him was that he wore appropriate paint attire - sweat pants and a stocking cap.

That's all.

No shirt.

No shoes.

No socks.

I don't even know what to say about that.

Then, in what I guess was an attempt to get me to fire them, they turned on Kayla's antique stereo (circa 2005) and turned the music up really loud so I'd have to listen to all this horrible music - Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me....?

I showed them. I left for the mall.

To make this "Dumb and Dumber" episode even more exciting - I had actually thought about keeping it a secret from Paul that the boys did the painting.

See, well, Paul has issues about painting. He hates to paint but he doesn't want anybody else to paint either.

I know. It puts me in quite a bind when I want to redecorate.

So then.

I thought I had 8 or so hours before Paul got home and I could work up to telling him that I had let two teenage boys loose with the paint; but then Paul called me on the phone.

And I immediately started giggling when I answered his call.

Because I can't keep a secret (especially when I know it's going to get Paul all worked up)

Which is probably why I'll never be a gambler or a spy.

Of course when he heard me giggling he assumed I was visiting with Blake.

Well, sort of....

So, what's up?

Well, don't be mad...but I'm letting Blake and Cody paint Kayla's room.

*silence*

They better keep that floor covered! Do they know how to move the tarp to protect the rug?

And then I said something to my husband that I never imagined I'd hear myself say:

OH! DON'T BE SUCH AN OLD LADY!! Really, I said that. Can you believe I said that?
Do you really think a little paint is going to make that carpet look worse than the nail polish and marker stains that are already on it? We can cover things with throw rugs. Stop worrying, for Pete's sake.

The good news is the painting is done - except for a little touching up - and it looks fantastic. The boys did a great job.

The bad news is that not only does my son hate manual labor, but apparently I'm married to a persnickety eighty-year-old woman.