I was going to post this yesterday when it actually happened, but I got myself all riled up about the attack on Sarah Palin's family. Jeesh!! Politics really bring out the worst in us.
Anyway, so what day is it? Oh, Wednesday.
It all started Monday night when I was getting ready for bed. I realized I had forgotten to start the coffee for the next morning. I was going to ask Paul if he would start it before he ran in the morning but he was already snoring...I mean asleep.
Because he has this ability to fall asleep freakishly fast. Like, within 47 seconds of his head hitting the pillow.
No worry, I told myself. Surely, he will have the common sense...I mean forethought...to start the coffee when he sees stale coffee sitting in the pot. Surely he'll rinse it and make fresh coffee before he leaves for his run.
Um....not so much.
As I found out when I came downstairs Tuesday morning. I saw coffee in the pot and, even though the "yes the coffee is hot and fresh" light wasn't on, I had to mumble, "Is this fresh coffee?"
"Um...no, I didn't make it."
"Oh, well I thought for sure you'd think to make it before leaving on your run. I'll start it now."
Must I do EVERYTHING around here?
To which Paul replied, "Well, I've succeeded in ticking off two people already today. Blake has forbidden me to use his bathroom anymore in the mornings..."
*ahem*
See, we DO have four bathrooms. Well, three and a half bathrooms. When Paul finished the basement, we put one down there for the teens. Blake moved into that one a year or so ago when his sister reached teendom and started filling "the kids" bath with all sorts of glitter and lotions and body sprays and hair clips and other various fru-fru (or is it froo-froo?).
So basically our kids have their own bathrooms. And I'm not saying that in a Yippee-our-kids-have-their-own-bathrooms kind of way. I'm saying that in a What-was-I-thinking-adding-ANOTHER-bathroom-to-this-house kind of way.
The thing is, Paul is slowly getting himself banned from all of them.
It was easy enough to ban him from the half bath on the main floor. I mean we don't want the main floor to...well...you know...emit any horribly strong odors when somebody walks in the door early in the morning. Not that anybody will be walking in the door first thing in the morning, but it IS where we eat and start our day, for goodness sake.
He totally got my reasoning on that one.
Then there was the banning from OUR bathroom. I mean, it's not like I don't have to spend my day in this house. It's not like I never enter OUR bathroom. It's not like I don't need to BREATHE the first two hours of each morning as I'm getting ready to face MY day.
What, because I'm a stay-at-home-mom, my respiratory health means NOTHING?
"Seriously, honey? Isn't there another arrangement we could make?" I asked him.
That's how he ended up in the basement bathroom, or Blake's bathroom. But now Blake has convinced him that's not a good idea either. I'm not sure, but that "convincing" may have involved an intricate wrestling move.
I mean, things must be PRETTY BAD if a teenage boy is...um...grossed out.
I wonder if Kayla is feeling doomed because her bathroom is the only one Daddy hasn't tried to take over in the morning.
Kayla, baby? Whatever you do, DON'T let him in. Not by the hair of your chinny chin chin.
And yes, I got permission from Paul to post about this. I told him the other morning, "I so want to blog about this." And he said "Do it, I give you permission to vent...no pun intended."
Which totally made me giggle because I love a good play on words. But it also made me a little jealous because I'm supposed to be the punny one around here, and I felt like he totally stole my thunder.
Anyway.
I am afraid we're running out of options. Except:
- We could put an outhouse in our back yard. We'd put siding and shingles on it to match our house so that the neighborhood wouldn't be all up in our business about how it didn't blend.
-Paul can stop at the Phillips 66 station each morning as he runs home.
In the spirit of the upcoming election, let's have a vote.
Outhouse or filling station?
Where do you, the people, think Paul belongs - Bathroomically Speaking?
7 comments:
I followed you here from Deana Nall's blog. You poor thing! I vote for the filling station.
That really was a funny line....vent....HA!
I can offer one other alternative. After I run, the new routine is to take Cookie for a quick walk in the park where she makes her morning deposits. That saves me from having to scoop her deposits from our back yard. Now, the village has a nice pavillion with bathrooms that someone is nice enough to open very early in the morning. I'm willing to use that bathroom, which is a good deal for me as it's the village's water, etc. that I'll be using! I'll trade that for not having to make coffee on the weekends. Deal??
Pauley
Choice 3:
Less fried okra, more shredded wheat!
ninjaprincess-
How funny!! Now I have to change my official ballots and worry about hanging chads.
The gas station, uses less water. Besides, you don't want an unsightly outhouse in the backyard. What if a strong wind comes along? It could blow the smell straight towards you.
I've got a write-in vote for Dig A Hole & Bury It!!!
I vote Filling station because do you really want to clean yet another toliet? Because seriously do you think he would? *snicker* .
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