MORE WAL-MART ANTICS

Now I have to add grave personal injury to my list of reasons not to go to Wal-Mart; although, I am evidently so filled with self loathing that I cannot go a week without visiting that place.

See, I was trying to buy shortening so I could hush the naysaying of my son and bake an apple pie, with homemade crust.

I knew I wanted to buy the shortening that comes in little pre-measured "sticks" like butter. I did not, however, know that I'd have to choose between butter flavored shortening or plain ole shortening.

But really is there any question? I mean doesn't butter make everything better? The only thing that adds more to the flavor of any food than butter is chocolate chips. But I don't want to add chocolate chips to my pie crust.

Or do I?

Anyway, I decided to buy both kinds of shortening so I could decide later which one to use. I will make my decision after e-mailing my favorite aunt for baking advice. But I should probably go with the plain stuff - like Grandma Hale used. But having both kinds on hand will be nice; I surely will be making many many more pies after this, so I'll need all kinds of shortening in my pantry.

Really, I will.

Having decided to get both kinds of shortening, I reached above my head and took a pack from the shelf.

And stood helplessly as a tower of shortening came tumbling down on my face.

Thank goodness they don't sell it in cans anymore.

I did not even bother to look around to see if anybody was watching because I just assumed that they were. I've learned to lower my own standards of dignity when I shop at Wal-Mart.

See? Baking from scratch is dangerous work.