HOPE SINKS

Updated at 4:36 p.m. CST:
Float mom on brink of insanity. Float supply guy's life in danger after promising to call her back in 45 minutes -AGAIN - says something about "it's gonna be there tomorrow." Float mom yells "LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE" after hanging up.
Float company's name to be published tomorrow so that author's ones of readers can boycott.

It all started on the morning of September 13 - a Saturday.

I sat at our computer scouring different websites for parade float supplies. We - meaning the freshman class - needed a float skirt. We needed a silver fringed float skirt.

After browsing through a few different sites I came upon one that was easy to navigate, had reasonable prices and decent shipping times.

Or so I thought.

Let the record show that on September 13 of this year, one Heidi W, mother of a member of the class of 2012, did purchase not one, not two, but THREE silver 30-inch Silver Metallic Vinyl Fringe parade float skirts.

Let the record further show that said mom paid extra for 3-day expedited shipping.

Let the record show that the above mentioned transaction was posted to said mom's bank account on September 15.

Let the record show that the order didn't. Show, that is.

It hasn't shown up, people!

Tomorrow at 5:30 we are to meet at a class member's farm to finish assembling the float and store it in his dad's machine shed overnight so it will be ready for the 3:00 parade the next day.

And I have no float skirt.

The man at the parade float supply shop was so very NOT helpful when I called today; I think he was speaking to me around a big old cigar hanging out of his mouth. He said he'd check into it and call me back. I am not holding my breath.

He has until noon, and then I'm calling my mom so she can go all crazy fierce Grandma on him.

Or not.

But I am seriously going to have to channel my mother and once again become her when I call this man. He is going to be oh so sorry that he didn't ship my order and that he was rude to me on the phone.

I also am waiting on a reply to my e-mail to this oh-so-helpful company. My e-mail that is fairly polite but also sends a vibe of panic. SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!

I need my 30-inch Metallic Silver Float skirt - Quantity 3.

Here's the thing. This was really the only major thing I was in charge of for the float and I really feel bad that it's getting screwed up.

And another thing. I am going to have to stand in front of four young ladies - ages 14 and 15 and give an accounting of my actions.

I'm going to have to hang my head and stare at my shoes while I poke the floor with my toes and tell them why I not only picked the most bonehead company every conceived, but I also chose to pay EXTRA for three-day shipping...ELEVEN DAYS AGO!! I'm going to have to go to Kangaroo Court!!

It's a good thing I already offered to donate half the cost of this order.

Still, I think Mrs. W is in big trouble.

Please don't ask why Mrs. W was doing all this in the first place, when somebody like, say, oh I don't know a class sponsor might do it. We moms are doing all this because there is no guidance or help from the school or class sponsor. We are new to this so we're all flailing just a bit. Next year will be better, I know. But for now I am so frustrated I could scream.

And to top it all off, I have to make an apple pie today.

Be on the lookout for a float supply guy with a ten-inch pie pan protruding from his...well...from somewhere.