IS IT A SCANDAL OR NOT?

Sarah Palin's teenage daughter is pregnant. And evidently this is the worst thing that could ever happen to a family. In fact this teenage pregnancy is evidently enough to drive a promising political campaign right into the ditch.

Because a teenage girl is choosing not to hide her mistake, some people will not vote for their chosen candidate. Because a teenage girl is taking a very courageous step and allowing her baby to have life, people are giving up on her mother.

Our society has made it very easy for girls like this to do away with their problem and make like it never happened. Our society has made it very easy for something like this to have never been made known.

But it has been made known. Because she is choosing life. Had she made another CHOICE we would never know about her little secret and their would be no ammunition against her mother and we wouldn't be taking potshots at her for not teaching her child any of her own "Family Values." Except evidently she has taught her daughter family values. She's taught her that after you make one mistake you don't resolve it by making another.

But certain liberals - political bloggers, news anchors, regular citizens - don't want to focus on that. They want to focus on the fact that a teenager had sex and got pregnant.

Oh my gosh!!!

We shall all meet in the courtyard and stone her swelling body.

*Hurray for Senator Obama for his very clear statement that this should be treated as a private issue - that families, especially children are off limits. Hurray for his honesty in reminding us that his own mother was a teenager when she had him. Is anybody attacking HIS family values? Senator Obama, you are a class act.*

As a mother, my heart is breaking for Sarah Palin because, as a mother, I know how harsh other mothers are when our children make mistakes.

As we go about our busy lives raising kids, we keep our radars finely tuned to any blip that tells us there's a child in our midst that has made a mistake - a child that is not our own of course. And when that radar beeps we get to drop all of our mothering tools, forgo our carpooling duties, neglect the housework, meet somebody for coffee or get on the phone and breathlessly say "Did you hear...so and so's child really screwed up this time." And we rub our hands together and smack our lips as though it's a morsel of gossip that's tastier than the best chocolate.

"How could they let that happen?"

"If only they had..."

"My child would NEVER..."

"She won't be so smug now" *snort*



And then it's your child.

It might not be a teen pregnancy. But maybe it's cheating on a test, or fighting on the bus. Maybe it's stealing a pack of gum from the gas station, or torturing the neighbor's pets. Maybe it's bullying another kid, being the MEAN GIRL at school. Maybe it's drugs or drunk driving, or vandalizing someone's property. Maybe it's any number of things that you yourself did as a kid that could have brought shame upon your own parents.


And then you hear it - the judgment, the gossip. You may not hear it with your ears but you hear it in your heart. You know it's being said. You know, because you used to be the one saying it - at least once.



"I can't believe what their child did."

"I thought they were church going people."

"She used to be so hard on other people's kids - heh - she'll keep her mouth shut now."

And you will be ashamed at your lack of compassion.

And you will be sad - so sad. You'll be sad because you'll fee like there's nobody to talk to about this because they will all judge you. You know they are all laughing at you behind your back. You know they are all commenting on your failure as a parent.

But you will also be determined. Determined, hopefully, to discipline your child with just the right amount of firmness mixed with the perfect portion of mercy. You'll hold that child's face in your hands and tell them that, yes, they screwed up and they must face the consequences. You'll tell them that there will be shame and embarrassment to walk through, but that you will walk through it with them - every step of the way. You'll tell them that you are not proud of their actions but that you HAVE NOT FOR ONE MINUTE STOPPED BEING PROUD TO BE THEIR MOM.

And then you will wait. You will wait for the next child to screw up - a child that is not yours. And you will have a whole new sense of compassion for that child's parents. And you will tell people who dish out the juicy tidbits "As a mother, I know how their hearts must be hurting." And you will reach out to those parents in a way that you had hoped somebody would have reached out to you.

And you will also think back to the time when your child rarely left your side. When you had nearly total control over their actions. When you got to decide what they ate, what they wore, whom they played with, when they went to bed.

And you will remember how naive you were when you thought they would never make a mistake.