COMPLEX

I am feeling a little insecure right now as I just picked up our mail.

I have received a note from the local "Behavioral Health Center" - that would be the mental health clinic - AND a note from the Midwest Center for Plastic Surgery.

Clearly my husband has been in contact with these organizations.

Upon opening the plastic surgery letter first, I found this note:

Dear Mrs. W

As Medical Director of Midwest Center for Plastic Surgery I've decided to offer a select group of individuals the opportunity to get to know my staff and I...blah, blah, blah.

Aside from the poor sentence structure - shouldn't it read "to get to know my staff and ME?" -
I could not bring myself to read further; it was, after all a five page letter/advertisement.

Because, how rude!!

I will admit that I'm intrigued by the final page that offers $900 OFF! any series of three or more fraxel treatments - must present coupon for discount. I have no idea what fraxel treatments are but they don't sound pleasant. Plus, I cannot imagine myself presenting a coupon to my doctor.
Thank you Mrs. W; that will be $2500 today please.
Oh, wait I have a $900 coupon. Wow that really makes it much more reasonable doesn't it?

If I can't be bothered to use a coupon for kitty litter, I can't be bothered to use a coupon for fraxeling. Plus there's that sentence structure thing again. I may have cellulite and crows feet but I really do like me some good grammar.

Now for the mental health correspondence, I had decided before opening the card that I might be willing to cash in the coupon for some mental health evaluations.... for the good of my family.

But alas the mental health correspondence is merely an invitation to a fundraiser for a day center for homeless adults.

A fundraiser which we may or may not attend.

Depending on whether or not I've healed from my plastic surgery by that time.