ONE FLU OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST

So have you all seen the Walgreens commercials about flu shots?

You can go into your local Walgreens any time between 10:00 a.m. and 4 p.m. seven days a week and get a flu shot for $24.99. I think I even saw that there would be an actual nurse there giving the shots. Perhaps I was wrong.

So, since our family doctor is 21 miles from our house and Walgreens is about 2 miles from our house, I decided to take advantage of the Walgreens Flu Shot Service and go get myself vaccinated today.

Silly me.

So I show up, fully expecting to have to fill out a little information slip stating my name, date of birth and medical issues. And then I though that a nice nurse from, oh I don't know VNA or something, would take my form and stick a needle in my arm.

Um...not so much.

I was instructed to fill out the form and return it to the pharmacy counter, where it would then be placed in the "we'll get to it when we can" pile - along with all the prescription requests.

"We have to treat it like a prescription," the pharmacy tech told me.

Huh?

So then.

I sat in a nice molded plastic chair and read a riveting magazine/pamphlet entitled
Diabetes and You, while glancing around the store looking for the ever elusive nurse who was supposed to be sticking a needle in my arm.

Hmmmm. I couldn't seem to find the nurse. I was, however, starting to see red flags every where I looked.

After a 20 minute wait, my self prescribed flu shot finally made it to the top of the prescription request pile and somebody called out my last name.

Oh goody, I'd get to meet the nurse!!!

Only instead of a nurse, a pharmacist pulled herself away from her pharmacisitacizing and came out to the plastic chairs armed with alcohol wipes, rubber gloves, and needles.

Are pharmacists trained to give injections?

I mean do they have practical, hands on experience with needles....on real live people?

I'm just askin'.

Because, owwwwww-uh.

I don't think this one did.

I'm sure she's an excellent pharmacist and has tremendous knowledge in all things pharmaceutical.

But she really wasn't meant to give a shot.

Because, owwwww-uh.

She somehow managed to push the needle against my skin without actually puncturing the skin, but merely briefly torturing my arm with a searing pain that made the left side of my mouth curl up in a little snarl while little silver sparkles flashed in front of my eyes.

And then she let out a little "Hmmmm," like she was confused as to why the needle wasn't actually, you know, piercing my flesh; followed by a nearly inaudible grunt as she gave the needle one final thrust, causing the needle to not only pierce my flesh but also enter it approximately one quarter of an inch.

Now, I'm not one to be bothered by needles, but I let out a little wince and she said "Oh, did that sting a little?"

Ummm....yeah, if you call having a dart thrown into your bicep "stinging a little."

I guess this professional cross-over could be a good thing. If pharmacists can now give injections, maybe the man who changes the oil in my van can now fly a commercial jet.

And maybe I can deliver my neighbor's baby in February.