I'M PRETTY SURE I'M SCHIZOPHRENIC

So, I've been reading over my posts about my school history and here's the thing.

It's boring. I was a boring kid. So until I find a way to present it in a way that makes it sound better than it was (without falsifying anything, of course) - my school years will be put on hold.

Becaue I believe in presenting only the best to my ones of readers.

So now on to my own mental self diagnosis.

I am pretty sure I'm schizophrenic. Before we had children I worked with real-live schizophrenics so I know whereof I speak (whereof I speak??)

My schizophrenia manifests itself when I am cleaning house. See, I can't seem to stay on one house-cleaning task until it's done.

You know how "they" say things like "while you are cleaning, when you come across things that need to be taken to another room, put them in a pile and return them in one trip; so you will save yourself many trips out of the room you are cleaning." You know how they say that?

Well, I can't do that. I can't let things pile up becaue then I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything in that room; so I take things where they belong as I come across them. Plus, it's a little bit of exericse, especially if it involves the stairs, if I make several trips. The problem with this schizophrenic approach is that I get distracted in the room to which I'm returning things, which usually leads to another distraction, and so on and so on.

Here's an example.

I need to mop the kitchen floor, so I fill my bucket and get out my mop. I put all the chairs on the table and all the barstools on the counter. Then I notice there are some tennis shoes lying on the kitchen floor that belong upstairs. On my way upstairs I notice a stack of towels that belong in the master bath. So I grab the towels too. I drop the tennis shoes in the appropriate bedroom and then head to the master bath to put the towels away. While in the bathroom, I notice that I haven't put away my curling iron from the morning so I grab that and put it away. While putting the curling iron away, I notice the sink needs to be wiped out, so I grab the cleanser and wipe my sink. While I'm at it, I wipe Paul's sink, and then decide I might as well wipe out the tub. While wiping out the tub, I notice we are out of liquid soap, so I grab the empty bottle to throw it away, then notice the bathroom garbage needs to be emptied, so I grab a garbage bag and empty the bathroom garbage. Then I open the cabinet to get more soap to put on the tub and notice there are plenty of bottles of lotion in there. So I grab a bottle of lotion to stick in my daughter's room. I open the door to her room and realize she has some laundry that needs to be done. So I grab the laundry and head to the laundry room, which is off the kitchen. I pass the mop water and throw in the laundry. Only there's a load that needs to go to the dryer; and a load that is already in the dryer that needs to be folded. So I get all the laundry sorted and bring out the load to fold. There is no place to fold it since there are chairs on every surface in the kitchen. So I head to the dining room.
You all know what kinds of things end up in my dining room. So I fold the clothes and then set about returning various and sundry items to their proper place from the dining room.
Which leads me to find even more tasks that I have to get done.
Then I realize I'm hungry, so I head to the kitchen to grab some lunch only to find a bucket of cold mop water waiting for me. I look at the clock and say "Oh, I started this two hours ago" while slapping my forehead with my palm.
Then I pretty much repeat the process in a variation of the same theme.

It's a good thing my husband has never said anything even close to "What did you do all day?" Because the best I could probably come up with would be a very tentative "um....I put my curling iron away...."

See, housework can be very tiring and confusing and you must be at your physical and MENTAL best before you tackle it.

That's why there are many days I choose not to take the risk.