WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE...?

When people ask me if I'm taking any kind of vacation this year, I say something like this:

"Oh, our children are getting all sorts of nice trips. Me? Um...I got to spend a night in Iowa"

Let's recap Kayla's summer so far. I will also add in her upcoming travels:

One week of church camp which she hoped would turn into three so she could work as a counselor, also, but she had...

One week of basketball camp at a Christian college about 2 hours from us. She learned a lot at this camp...like the names and cell phone numbers of half a dozen boys.

Various numbers of evenings each week spent at the softball field pitching and making memories with her friends. Oh, and visiting with the boys who "came to watch the game" but somehow seemed to end up outside the dug out with their fingers grasping the chain link fence, faces pressed close to tease the girls, like so many love starved monkeys at the zoo. Ah, yes! Boys seem to be making more frequent appearances in our daughter's life, and I am thinking of installing a chain link fence across our front porch. And to think we didn't even get one of my dad's shotguns last month....

Five days at my cousin's house so she could hang out with her daughter Maddie, with whom she went to basketball camp. My cousin and I were born 11 days apart, and we had our daughters about 3 weeks apart. These girls have the same irreverent humor as their mothers and so are very much alike and had a great time together. I see a blossoming friendship and I love it.

One trip per Monday night to various locations in Central Illinois for church youth group activities. These trips are crucial to her summer survival because they give her contact with her many church camp friends because they, too, live all over the state of Illinois. They are uplifting church experiences that draw her deeper into The Word while allowing her to be surrounded by other young Christians whose friendships will last a lifetime (cue organ music now). Plus, they usually get to stop at Dairy Queen or Sonic on the way home, which we all know is a religious experience in and of itself.

One overnight trip to Missouri (upcoming) for a youth rally followed by a completely oppressive trip to Six Flags where she will run around in flip flops, shorts and a tank top, under which she will wear her swim suit so they can run back and forth to the water park. I say "completely oppressive" because the heat is usually UN bearable. Thank the good Lord above we think we've have worked out a rotating schedule with another couple, and this is NOT our year. One year they take the girls, one year we take them. Because last time I went and wandered around Six Flags in the heat of Hades? Well, I was not a very pleasant person by 8 p.m. I would go so far as to say I was minutes away from letting words fly that should never come out of a Christians mother's mouth.

One 8 day period (upcoming) during which she will work at our State fair "Church booth." When she is not working she will get to wander around the state fair with her friends and fill herself up on fried foods (Twinkies, Oreos...). Her dad did this growing up too; and she is definitely looking forward to it. At night, I think they will sleep at the local church building. And how fun is that to get to sleep on a church pew and bathe yourself in a sink in the ladies room? Good times, I tell you.

That leads us up to school registration, which will quickly lead to the first day of high school for her. Surely, this girl will say she's had a fantastic summer.

Now let's do Blake, keeping in mind that he is a homebody:

One trip to Wisconsin Dells for wrestling camp. He loved it this year as opposed to last year when he actually had to sleep in an un-air conditioned college dorm (oh my gosh! the horrors).

One trip to New York (upcoming) simply to see the New York Yankees before they tear down the stadium. A guys only trip. I am thrilled beyond measure he gets to do this with his dad.

One trip to our nearby outlet mall to buy Yankees shirts for himself and Dad - completely his own idea.

Three - THREE!! - trips already to see the newest Batman movie. His allowance is gone and he had to borrow money from his sister for the third viewing. He opened a birthday card from his great grandmother the other day, pulled out the five dollar bill and said "Kayla!! Here's part of the money I owe you."

Daily trips to the gym to work out and prepare for Cross Country - no football this year.

One trip to a nearby ball diamond to watch his sister play softball, at which time he, in his own way, complimented his sister (to us) for striking out a girl who was already playing on the high school varsity team.

Daily trips out and about with Cody to do...well...I'm not sure, but sometimes it includes lunch because he tries to sweet talk me out of "just five bucks, mom...please."

Some fishing.

Sleeping in until noon.

Now let's do me:

One trip to Indiana to discard and distribute the worldly goods of my recently deceased father.

One trip to Iowa to get my mother back from my brother (we offered to pay his kids' college costs if he'd keep her, but NO!!!) and bring her safely home without pitching her into a river or one of the many flooded corn fields.

ONE THOUSAND trips to the pool to drop off any number of teenage girls, at which time I always say "Kayla, got your puffer? Got Tylenol? Ok, have fun girls. No boys!!" And they pretend I'm funny because they may need me to bring them home again in a few hours.

ONE THOUSAND trips to the mall. Again, the teenage girl thing.

ONE THOUSAND trips to Wal-Mart to keep food in the house for these teenagers. Seriously, the milk we are drinking....

One trip to...oh wait...that's it.

So, I ask you, what is wrong with this picture?

Not a thing. Not one thing.