I recently told somebody that the greatest pain of raising children is when they disappoint you. This after a difficult week with one of ours.
Our son made a terrible choice last night and we are dealing with the consequences. My heart is breaking. His heart is breaking. I told him it was good for his heart to hurt; that is how we learn and remember. I told him to allow himself to cry and feel bad but do not let regret eat away at him until that is all that's left for him to live on. I told him that I have not, for one minute, stopped loving him, and will be with him through every minute of the shame and embarrassment that often come with bad youthful decisions. But, I also told him that he messed up....bad...and I hope his remorse makes him accept his punishment with grace and a willingness to start fresh without anger at us. Each time I suggested we get some rest, he wanted to talk some more. He clung to me like a little boy again.
I have been on my knees until I am numb and I am exhausted. I am desperate to feel peace from this and know that he will be ok...that our family will be ok. I have prayed until my mind is swimming. I am now trying to be still and know....I am listening for The Voice.
Please pray for our family. Please pray for our son - he's a great kid - please pray that this one mistake will not be a pain in his heart forever; that this one mistake will not follow him and allow him to be labeled. Please pray for Paul and me - that our decisions are good ones and that we stand firm with discipline when we see it breaking his heart.