Chris's most recent post has made me decide to finally sit down and blog what's on my mind lately. I had some really good news last week that sent waves of financial and emotional relief through me. See, my mom lost her job a year ago and Paul and I have been helping her out a little bit. My brother also has helped her out. My sister blatently refused to help her. I don't mean to sound resentful of that. I'm just sayin'....
Anyway, she had a part time job with inconsistent hours, etc. She found a better job last week, yippee! 25 hours a week, better pay, closer to her home. She told me to cut in half what I had been sending her. Now it's not just the finances; my mom is one NEGATIVE person and nothing is ever as bad for anyone else as it is for her and she can suck the joy out of my day in a matter of seconds. So this was all good news. Then she won a settlement regarding her lost job. Yippee again. I can stop sending her a check altogether. Plus she can draw social security in June. Of course she still has found reason to live her "woe is me" life. I call it the Eeyore lifestyle. Well, I had visions of getting our savings built up again and we had set a goal of paying off our jeep and I was really excited about that. Then our van broke down - AGAIN. And I found this lump in my side. And I started feeling defeated. So we have decided to stop pouring money into this rat hole of a van and finally buy a new one (well, new to us anyway). So for a couple days I kept thinking how short lived my relief was and how fleeting it was to feel good about finances and how quickly my emotional relief regarding my mom disappeared. All to be replaced by thoughts of car shopping (we hate it) and worries of doctors visits and bad news and all the what if's that come with finding something on your body that's not supposed to be there, taking on another car payment when we were this close to paying one off. Then I realized that I was thinking like my mom. And that means I was not living with joy. So I decided yesterday that I would be thankful (and I am) that we can get that van replaced. I am married to a CPA and he can move money around like nobody's business when he starts to "crunch numbers." And I decided not to worry about the lump on my side until February 28 at 11:45 when I see my doctor and he tells me what the next step is. I may let somebody else suck the joy out of my day sometimes but I am not going to do it to myself. So I, too, have pried Satan's hands from my heart and prayed for God's calming hand of peace to be upon me. And it is. I would still appreciate prayers on February 28 at 11:45.
Thanks, Chris, for spurring me on.