NOTES FROM NASHVILLE - PART III - THE BLACK NAPKIN

We, the W family, visited a plantation while in Nashville. I just didn't feel like I could go to the South and not see a real plantation, so I subjected my family to it. I understand my husband and son had a talk at some point before we left because when I said something to Blake about him "tolerating" the plantation visit he said "I know. Dad and I have talked." Hmmmm...

He actually did really well. In fact, as we got in the van after our tour, he said something like "Dude, I made it through the plantation visit without griping one time." Ahhh, how he's growing up. He did however, express quiet disgust several times over the slavery issue and mirrored my own concerns when he asked "are we, like, justifying this whole way of life by paying to take a tour of this place?" Pretty insightful for a sullen teenage boy.

Anyway, before we toured the mansion and the "Enslaved African American Workers' Homes," we ate in the plantation restaurant.

I was a little disappointed because I expected to see people in period costume giving us a real taste of what a meal would be like on a rich Southern plantation - you know the mistress of the mansion serving us up some corn pone and ham slices with some biscuits dripping in molasses. I seriously love that kind of stuff.

Instead we were seated in a nice little dining room and served by young college kids dressed in all black. Our menu selections were things like chicken salad sandwiches, crustless quiche, and Greek pasta salad.

Whatever.

So we were seated at our table and very quickly one of the young servers came by and whisked away my white cloth napkin and the silverware it contained and replaced it with a black one, saying "here's a black napkin for you, ma'am."

Wait, what?

At first I was a little panicked. Is there some sort of Southern napkin etiquette I don't know about? Could they tell I was over 40 and therefore should only use a black napkin? Did I appear to be in mourning? Was I being marked for some reason, like in that horrible story we read in High School literature where the whole town draws lots once a year and whoever gets the black dot gets stoned to death? Was I going to get a pie thrown in my face?

Speaking of pie...could it be that my black napkin marked me as the recipient of some special prize? Like maybe a rich decadent Southern dessert? Now I was getting excited. If that black napkin meant I was going to get something sweet at the end of my meal - FOR FREE - then it would indeed be a happy day. Please, please, please let it mean a special dessert!!!

There were confused looks all around our table as we all stared at my black napkin, standing out like a sore thumb amongst the other white napkins.

We, in all of our Northern sophistication and dignity were uttering: "What the heck's this here black napkin all about?" We, the W family were all atwitter.

So, I said to our hip young server "Um....I don't understand why my white napkin was replaced with a black one." And I said it as though I was confessing to my calculus teacher that I did not understand that first problem on the board.

And she said "Cause you're wearing black pants," as though that was all the explanation that was necessary.

HUH?!

No free dessert?

The only thing I can come up with is that perhaps a white napkin would leave little white specks on my black pants.....? Which I've never seen happen before; but what other explanation is there?

I am an educated person. I have been to my share of "upscale" events. I don't usually enjoy them, but I've been to them. I like to think I won't usually embarrass myself or my husband when we go to said upscale events. I want my kids to be comfortable at upscale events so they can relax and enjoy them when they are in that phase of life.

So, somebody please help me. What is this mystery of the black napkin? What have I missed?
Have any of you ever been given a black napkin because you were wearing black slacks? Is this a Southern thing I've never heard about? Because I went to college in the South and my roommate was most definitely Southern and SHE never taught me anything about the black napkin rule.

I truly do not need this added stress in my life - worrying about the black napkin rule.

So come on, my ones of readers, educate me.