ON TEXTING...

When we got our kids their cell phones...um...however many years ago it was...we knew that it was going to make them extremely happy. So happy, in fact, that we feared they would like us too much.



And since it is our goal to make sure our kids never like us too much, we had to find a way to take some of the joy out of having their own cell phones.



So we had a parental sidebar and quickly discussed our options.



What to do? What to do?

I know. Let's disable their text message capabilities.

OH! Good one.



Which is how Paul came to be known by our children as the Text Nazi, a title that goes well with others he's earned since becoming a father: The Snack Nazi, The Cable Nazi and The Nazi of All Things Fun (which obviously covers everything under the son that makes him a mean dad)



Anyway, to make things even more miserable for our children after we made sure they knew they wouldn't be able to text ANYBODY, we informed them that mommy and daddy could indeed text each other.



R.H.I.P, children. Rank has its privileges.



The trouble is that I cannot manage to text anybody without sending out a bunch of gibberish (that predictive mode - what's that about?) Paul, surprisingly also had trouble texting. While trying to send me a text message one day, he accidentally told himself "I LOVE YOU," when the message bounced back to him instead of coming to my phone.



Somehow I don't think our children were quite as miserable when they saw that even though we got to text, we had know idea what we were doing. Ah, sweet revenge.



Happiness once again arrived at the W house; however, when I went to the cell phone store last Friday and unblocked the text capabilities on our kids' phones.



*cue Hallelujah Chorus now.*



Of course they have to pay for it.



Kayla had won us over with her argument that her social life was being ruined - RUINED I TELL YOU - by not having text. She had, after all, become a freak by being the only person to not be able to text.



I have to admit I see her point. It seems that once somebody had taken the time to text 3 or 4 people about the plans for the evening, they simply didn't have the energy to punch in a phone number and speak to The Textless One. It seems we have reached the point that we not only let our fingers do the walking, we now let them do the talking too.



Anyway, now that all four members of the W household have text, I decided to do an early upgrade (got the fee waived thank you very much) so that I could have a phone with a full keypad. See, I just couldn't manage typing on a telephone keypad. It's just not natural.



Now, though, since Kayla is so happy to be able to text I see my status as a Mean Mom slipping away, and I most certainly can't have that.



So, I have been sending her text messages at least 4 times a day.



I'm going to make her so sorry she has texting, I tell Paul as I start typing...



For instance I'll sit in the basement and text her: whatcha doing? And she'll answer: Getting ready hby?



Assuming Hby means "How 'bout you" I answered "Kissing your dad."



And she answered "Yuck."



And today while Paul and I were at lunch, and she was at the mall, he texted her "Stop talking to that boy." To which she replied, "I'm looking at clothes. Nice try."



The most beautiful thing about our new texting capabilities is the way it has brought our children together. I know for a fact that yesterday Blake texted Kayla and asked her "Can I have your big Valentine Cookie." To which she answered "No. You had your own."



With that kind of love going on, I'm sorry we didn't get this texting thing sooner.