Not my sentiments, but my son's. Here's why. Kayla had a volleyball tournament Saturday. I had barely finished paying the admission when she darts out of the gym with her friend and says "mom all the girls are doing french braids for the day - both of our teams - will you braid everybody's hair?!?" We had two teams at the tournament and of course they all waited until they arrived to decide to wear matching hair styles. I had a brush; one mom had rubber bands and another brush. So 3 of us moms set out to braid the hair of about 8 girls. I muttered something about not getting the braid memo and set to work. Oh, and they happened to come up with blue and yellow ribbons too.
Well, we got CREAMED in the first game. A girl served 21 straight points against us. We had beaten that team earlier so we were shocked; but there it was. The second game was a little better but still painful. I wanted to yell "take out the braids!!!!" Blake, however was very vocal. He said "It's the braids!! They should have been focused on their game, not their hair. This is why girls shouldn't play sports!!!!!" I tried to explain that we had a pretty good record and we usually play well, blah blah blah...but he would have none of it. He was not happy to be at the tournament anyway - which lead to another lecture about all the wrestling meets, football games, basketball tournaments his sister has sat through for him - blah, blah, blah.
We came back and got third place but he wasn't impressed. Kayla asked him later if he thought she served good (she got to serve overhand for the first time that day) and he said "yeah, what I saw" Ouch. She really just wanted a compliment from someone that she sees as a good athlete and someone she looks up to. I see another lecture on the horizon.
I've been there, looking for validation and approval - sometimes from people who are just not going to give it. Then I wake up and realize the validation is easy to find - in the pages of scripture or on my knees in prayer. It's free flowing and abundant. Still I struggle with being a people pleaser. Don't want anybody to be mad at me, you know.
1 comment:
I think Blake was mostly right - it wasn't the braids as much as the attitude that what the girls LOOKED LIKE was more important than their purpose. How many times do I worry what I'll "look like" instead of focusing on the task that God has set before me.
Also (a side note) we need to start building up girl's self-esteem in who they are rather than on their looks. I've struggled with this all my life & I catch myself telling my daughter how pretty she is (which is OK) but I want her to know that she is also smart, funny, strong, etc. & not only liked because of how she looks. Wow. I guess I could go on & on about this!
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