Friday, December 12, 2008

OUR PERFECT FAMILY - 2008

Dear Friends and Family -

We at the W house wish you a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

Let me catch you up on our family as we've had a tremendous year.

Kayla continues to be the social butterfly, as evidenced by the new tattoo she is sporting that says "I *heart* My Friends." It goes well with her other tattoos that say "MOM" and "Love to Shop." Her new boyfriend is quite nice and they look just darling together as they speed away on his motorcycle in their matching leather chaps. They spend a lot of time at the Harley Davidson shop down the street. How sweet is that?
Kayla also continues to thrive in her athletic pursuits. She only got three technicals last week on the basketball court. Her anger management classes are paying off. She did have a little run-in with the umpire at a softball game last fall but I highly doubt she called him what he claims.
Other than friends and sports, Kayla loves to spend her time at the mall. The security guards are letting her shop there again since her probationary period ended last month.
Her freshman year in high school is going well. She is so popular, even with the teachers, that she gets to spend lots of time visiting with the principal. I think it's so he can get to know our family and learn how he too can raise such great kids. We are so proud of our little princess.

Blake is thoroughly enjoying his junior year in high school, especially since we got that second suspension lifted. Since the administration could not trace that box of matches back to him after that unfortunate fire; they had to let him return to class. He must be doing extremely well, as his teachers send me notes daily to request conferences on his progress. I hate to brag, but I doubt many parents have teachers contacting them so often simply to say how great their son is. We are, indeed, lucky parents.
Blake ran Cross Country this year to build his endurance for wrestling. The practices seemed to be quite long and when I asked the coach about this, he said something about Blake disappearing for long periods of time during their individual runs. Once again, our son's dedication amazes us and continues to be a source of pride. This pride of course carries over to the wrestling mats. What a pit bull our son is. That report of him biting his opponent on the nose was never confirmed so the coaches have continued to let him wrestle at each meet. He is, of course, The Splaedle King, so they really need him to inflict torture on the other team. I think the referees at the meets really like him because they always stop the match just to speak to him. I think they must want to remind him of the rules so he'll continue to be the best. Blake's anger management classes also continue to go well. I think those anger management classes will look great on his college applications. He must be overwhelmed with all of his educational options because he is keeping all of the college packets in a special place in his room, insisting that I don't need to get involved. What a bright independent young man.

Paul continues to advance at work and impress all of his colleagues. Professionals far and wide are learning of his expertise in the financial field. He's even had people from the FBI questioning him for the last couple of weeks, in order to learn more about what he does. I also think the SEC is scheduled to be in town next month. They have requested some meetings with him so they can report back to Washington on exactly how he manages to be so successful. His bosses are so pleased with his performance that they have given him some time off - an unspecified amount of time to stay home. How lucky are we? There is even talk that he might get to go spend some time at a special resort. If we're lucky he might be the subject of a book next year. I am blessed to be married to such a great provider.

And I continue to enjoy my life as a stay at home mom. I am known around town as the foremost expert on the plot lines of the Afternoon Dramas. I have worked hard to maintain that title, but it is worth it to help others who might have missed a few days of their favorite shows. Other moms call me regularly to receive reports from me if they have had to be away from home. It does indeed require dedication to be certain I miss NOT ONE episode through the week; but I have always enjoyed helping my fellow man so I try not to complain. I also have decided to lend my expertise to the chocolate industry, agreeing to sample all the national brands and report back to them on how each tasty tidbit ranks against its peers. These two jobs of mine keep me quite busy. So busy, in fact, that I have not been into my kids' school for the last two years. To be honest, I'm not even sure where my kids' school is. But they don't seem to mind, as they know how important it is for mom to share her knowledge with others. Such a selfless family I have.

That about sums up our family's year. We will be praying for all of you, that you too can achieve what we have and live in such peace and contentment.

Happy Holidays,

HW

3 comments:

Paul W said...

You forgot to mention the improved yields we're getting from our basement Meth lab. That time I spent in our R&D group really helped with that. For this, we give thanks!

Obi-Mom Kenobi said...

A friend of mine calls those annual Christmas letters, "Why we're better than you letters."

You win!

Beaner said...

I actually misread your letter & I thought it said Have a "Pretentious" New Year. Then I read the rest of the letter, and it made it all the more hilarious.