THAT ICE JUST WON'T MELT

We've had bad weather for the last couple of weeks. The roads have been icy and the temperatures so low that salt won't melt the ice; and yet, school has still been in session, ballgames have been played, wrestling meets have been wrestled. Life has gone on.

With the icy roads and the low temperatures, I have really wanted to stay inside. Drink coffee. Read blogs. Wrap presents. I've really wanted to ignore the fact that we were out of apples and running low on bread. I've wanted to ignore the fact that there were still a few gifts left to buy.

I've wanted to use that ice as an excuse to stay home. After all, if it won't melt, why am I expected to navigate it?

Because life goes on. That's why.

Sometimes, you have to get out on the treacherous path and just navigate, even when the ice won't melt.
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There is somebody in my life who has a very hard heart - a heart so full of anger and bitterness that I fear nothing will soften it. I pray daily for this person's heart to be softened. I pray daily that I can do what I need to do, say what I need to say, to minister to this person and their bitter heart.

But sometimes I get weary. So weary.

I get weary of the anger and the bitterness and the spite-filled darts that are thrown my way. I get weary of being taken off guard because there are days when everything seems to be just fine and I let my guard down. And that's when I am hit. There are nights when I crawl into bed and feel like my body must surely be covered with little pin pricks left by these darts. Certainly my heart is full of holes on those days.

I want to stop fighting the battle. I want to raise the white flag and surrender. I want to forfeit the match. But I know I can't. It is my sad job to keep on keeping on with this person even when it would be easier to just quit and pretend this person didn't exist. It is my sad job to keep slip sliding along on the icy surface of their heart. I've made it clear to God that I don't want this job. It's not fair for me to have this job. There is no reward for doing this job.

And He keeps telling me I can't quit.

The other day while I was out navigating the icy streets, with not a salt truck in sight because it was so cold the ice wouldn't melt, I think I got it.

This is it, isn't it Lord? This ice won't melt but I have to just keep moving slowly and carefully because life goes on. Their heart won't soften but I have to just keep trudging along, ducking and dodging and protecting myself the best I can. I have to learn to navigate through this heart that just won't melt, don't I?

And for a brief moment, I felt some peace in that realization.

Until the next dart pierced me.

Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness - James 3:18.